Drowning

Two days ago, I watched a movie alone again after quite some time. Watched X-men 2. It was a good movie, even better than the first one. [SPOILER AHEAD]Jean Grey died. How sad. But I love the Phoenix-like death effect. At least Wolverine lost a love interest and Cyclops is single again, right?[SPOILER END] Hehehehe!

I missed having a companion though. But then we all have our own lives to live.

Underwent another training yesterday (day time). One step higher than my previous skill level. I wonder when the pay will increase proportional to skill level? Hahaha!

I was in a foul mood yesterday until today. I was planning to have a few drinks last night but my brother did not buy me one. If some people get drunk, why can't I? Maybe bombarding my system with alcohol will suppress my allergy to it. So, I had a movie marathon instead and until now, still have puffy eyes considering I have work tonight. Oh well, don't really care. I think my tear ducts needed unclogging again. You feel bad whenever you think you're taken for granted, right? Some things are better left unwritten...

I miss listening to piano-accompanied music such as this, especially on a rainy and lonely Saturday night, while sipping a cold Mule...

"Let Me Be The One" (Jimmy Bondoc)
Somebody told me you were leavin', I didn't know
Somebody told me you're unhappy, But it doesn't show
Somebody told me that you don't want me no more
So you're walkin' out the door
Nobody told me you've been cryin' every night
Nobody told me you'd been dyin'
But didn't want to fight
Nobody told me that you fell out of love from me
So I'm settin' you free
Let me be the one to break it up
So you won't have to make excuses
We don't need to find a set up where
Someone wins and someone loses
We just have to say our love was true
But has now become a lie
So I'm tellin' you I love you one last time
And goodbye
Somebody told me you still loved me don't know why
Nobody told me that you only needed time to fly
Somebody told me that you want to come back when
Our love is true again
Just turn around and walk away
You don't have to live like this
If you love me still then stay
Don't keep me waiting for that final kiss
We can work together through this test
Or we can work through it apart
I just need to get this off my chest
That you will always have my heart

My fame and fortune: Scientific World

Talk about inventive! You're one of those people who has a special way of seeing a problem, wrapping your head around it, and squeezing out a solution that's nothing but pure genius. So what if you never won at the science fair (but congrats if you did). The fact is, you have a mind made for experimenting. You enjoy a mental challenge and like creating — whether it's a new invention for the sake of invention or something that solves people's more immediate problems.

Don't have crazy hair like Einstein? Don't know a Bunsen burner from a test tube? No sweat. Maybe you'll discover a cure for cancer. Maybe you'll be the first human to set foot on Mars. Or maybe you'll figure out how to safely make landfills evaporate.

Whatever you do, with a brain like yours, you're bound for scientific greatness. So get going! Fame and fortune await! The world's still waiting for someone to create that triple-chocolate, fudge, ice cream cake with zero calories! Or shoelaces that don't fray at the ends, or headphones that automatically adjust for outside noise factors, or rainproof-breathable fleece, or...

Keep Counting

Sometimes, we don't have to make decisions in life. Fate just leads us to a path in which we don't have much of a choice. We could fight back. But if we do, we more likely will emerge weaker than stronger. Things happen for a reason. Sometimes, it's better going with the flow than against it... because sometimes, blessings come in disguises. I guess I still have faith in fate. Or maybe, I am just tired of making decisions.

Ten years ago, my mom left us for a job opportunity in Manila. I graduated in elementary without her placing the medal I earned on my chest. Now we are together in Manila, she has to go to Laguna for another job opportunity. I guess it's better than before since she can come back home during the weekends. Count the blessings, right?

I wonder what's the most effective way in releasing stress, anger, anxiety, sadness in one blow...

i'm so tired of being here
suppressed by all of my childish fears
~Evanescence, "My Immortal"

Now don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you got til it's gone
~Counting Crows, "Big Yellow Taxi"

That's why, NEVER take anybody for granted... because you might only realize the value of someone (or something) when it's gone.

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On the 6th of this month, I'll be on my 4th month working in this company. By then, I will have the option to leave anytime I want. Two months from now, I will get the chance to prove myself worthy of being a regular employee (and of course, get all the perks of being one).

For three months already, I haven't seen my crush in the office. I thought he already vanished into oblivion or maybe because our schedules don't meet. But yesterday, I saw him again. The feeling was like in high school. I never had this hiatus of not having a crush before. It's been so long since I had one. But the "feeling" was re-instated again. It's good to be affected that way. Although I have a special someone now, crushes are different. I guess I just miss being a kid again.

Feeling better now. The doctor said it was just an infection and I'm ok now. But I will have to undergo some more tests (x-ray) and see an OB-GYNE. Not that I'm pregnant though. Hahahahaha! What's that, immaculate conception?!

I'm glad we have health cards. Although I'm short of cash right now, I still enrolled both my parents in medical insurance. That would take a huge chunk of money from my monthly pay, but better that than die of extreme poverty when one of us gets really ill.

I'm feeling bored. I kept thinking that this coming weekend is supposed to be my overnight swimming weekend. But that plan is as murky as the muddy waters in the Dead Marshes. I will not be seeing him this weekend too, which makes me feel more rotten. I wonder how I could get out of this. I wonder what's going to happen to make me genuinely smile again.

My college friends have plans to go swimming on May 18, I wonder if I would have the mood to go. I prefer to spend the day with him since those college friends are not really what I call my barkada. It's been so long since we'd hang out and I think we are all different now in more ways than one. I'd prefer a small group and I kinda miss watching movies and pigging out with my real barkada. *sniff* Since I started working I've been a lone ranger until I met him, but then since our lives don't revolve around each other, we have to move on and continue with our everyday "adventures". God, I really am bored if I keep on writing here without making sense...