The refresher course I'm taking is actually doing fine. Too bad it will end Tuesday next week. But I'm glad it's the weekend again.

Life's Lessons

I've learned that our dog doesn't want to eat my broccoli either.
Age 7

I've learned that just when I get my room the way I like it, Mom makes me clean it up again.
Age 12

I've learned that although it's hard to admit it, I'm secretly glad my parents are strict with me.
Age 15

I've learned that silent company is often more healing than words of advice.
Age 24

I've learned that brushing my child's hair is one of life's great pleasures.
Age 26

I've learned that if someone says something unkind about me, I must live so that no one will believe it.
Age 30

I've learned that there are people who love you dearly but just don't know how to show it.
Age 42

I've learned that you can make some one's day by simply sending them a little note.
Age 44

I've learned that the greater a person's sense of guilt, the greater his or her need to cast blame on others.
Age 46

I've learned that children and grandparents are natural allies.
Age 47

I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.
Age 48

I've learned that motel mattresses are better on the side away from the phone.
Age 50

I've learned that keeping a vegetable garden is worth a medicine cabinet full of pills.
Age 52

I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you miss them terribly after they die.
Age 53

I've learned that making a living is not the same thing as making a life.
Age 58

I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.
Age 62

I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catchers mitt on both hands. You need to be able to throw something back.
Age 64

I've learned that if you pursue happiness, it will elude you. But if you focus on your family, the needs of others, your work, meeting new people, and doing the very best you can, happiness will find you.
Age 65

I've learned that everyone can use a prayer.
Age 72

I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.
Age 82

I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love that human touch-holding hands, a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.
Age 90

I've learned that I still have a lot to learn.
Age 92

I'll be attending a refresher course for a week. My body clock has to make slight adjustments again. I'll be starting at 8PM and end at 5AM. Too early! But that's okay. I'll be back to normal by next Wednesday. At least I get to face weekend earlier than usual and I can see the sun rise again. Hehehe! That is, if I'm not yet asleep.

CANCER

You're thinking too hard right now. Actually, you're struggling. Anyone can see you're in over your head, and that resistance is useless. If your occupation demands that you express yourself objectively, you should find another outlet for your feelings. Write a book, or at least keep a journal. Now is not the time to let your feelings interfere with your career...

--------------------
Oh-kayyy... Right... Hah!

Why does it seem like I'm always taking care of people around me? I want to be taken cared of too...

Got some calls today that made me think again if I am going to last on this job.

The thread that attaches me to it is getting thinner...

Happy Birthday to you!
Happy Birthday to you!
Happy Birthday!
Happy Birthday!
Happy Birthday to YOU !!!


Wish you all the best. Miss you, girl!

Effects of a Long Weekend

I'm wondering if it would ever be possible for me to find a job that pays and at the same time, that I enjoy. I mean, I just want to experience how it feels not to work at all but have fun while earning money-- like playing professional basketball and the like.

After three days without work, I find myself tired of the usual routine. If only the job does not pay well, I would have quit along time ago.

I miss sleeping at night and living during the day. I miss having daily routine the same as my family, friends and loved ones. I miss watching prime time TV! I miss spending the evening relaxing with my family and thinking of nothing but just sleep. I miss snuggling in bed on stormy nights. I miss having lunch with my friends. I miss bonding time with my sis.

Oh well, but I would have to live like this for the moment. A friend told me, "Konting tiis na lang. If there is a better opportunity, then that's the time you grab it."

Ang tagal naman ng opportunity na yun...

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It's tough carrying your own cross. It's even tougher if you carry other people's crosses too. But since you love these people, you'll just have to endure all the suffering. I've always experienced this side of the coin. But these past few days I get to look at it in another way because someone close to me is experiencing the opposite side of the coin. My message: Never leave your hardships and problems on other people's doorsteps. Yes, they love you but they have a life too. They are not created to solve your problems for you. They are there when you need them but they cannot be there all the time. You have the capability to live and lead your own life... to carry your own cross. Do not depend on their love because a time will come when the thing that would keep you going is your belief and love for yourself. Live your life.

It's Friday!!!

Got some elective classes I'm going to attend. Classes are being offered here at work and I've chosen some classes scheduled outside my work sched. I signed up for Stress Management, IT Basics, MS Outlook and Time and Performance Management. The classes are free and I'm interested even if there is no OT pay for that. There are other classes offered but they are within my work shift. Oh well, I hope I'll enjoy them.

What's on my subconscious mind?

Your Subconscious Self

Your subconscious mind is most preoccupied with issues around your work life.

On a conscious level, you might already be aware that something is troubling you, or eating up a lot of time when it comes to your work life. But it's also possible that thoughts and feelings about working have been preoccupying your subconscious mind — leaving you with nothing more than a general sense that things just don't feel 100% right in your life though you can't quite figure out why.

You may question whether you should, or shouldn't be, working. You may be dissatisfied with your career or drained by the day-to-day of your job. Maybe people don't consider what you do to be valuable. Or maybe you're so frustrated with your work situation you avoid the topic all together.

Whichever feelings hold true, your test results indicate that right now, your subconscious mind is working overtime to resolve the issues confronting you in this area of your life — even if you don't feel aware of it.

However, you can learn easy ways to tap into your subconscious mind and discover the source of the issues that are preoccupying you.

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Really huh? How did you know? Hehehe!

I am still feeling lazy and a bit bitchy today. It's one of those days...

Can't wait for Friday.

I had a great weekend. I enjoyed it a lot that's why I want to have another day off too. I am planning to file a leave again within this week or next week. That means I will have only 8 vacation days left until the end of the year. But that's okay. Maybe save 5 days for Christmas vacation then distribute the 3 days from September to November.

A friend if planning to resign. She said she is tired of this stressfull job. I agree but I am not planning to leave yet. Not until I have a better alternative.

Oh and by the way...
BELATED HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Ecs!

There are a lot of "opposites" in this world. Like today was an especially tough day at work due to power outage in the Northeastern US and some parts of Canada. I mean, a call lasts from 30 mins to an hour because of that and I am not happy with my performance today. But guess what, I will still be in graveyard! Woohoo! I am so happy. Plus the fact that I get to rest after six straight days of work! I am meeting a couple of friends later too and I'm looking forward to it.

My World

I thought that this day will just be any ordinary day in my life. Actually it is but when I started reading "Sophie's World" by Jostein Gaarder yesterday, I am trying my best to view life in another perspective. But it seems like I am already burrowing myself deep into the rabbit's fur.*

Started work like any usual day. Still anxious about my new schedule. No official word has been given out yet about that. I just don't like to work in the morning.

Tonight will be my last night in this group. Starting Monday I will be under a new supervisor and in a new team. Then this long call came. I was helping out an old lady and I was getting bored and hungry. But what she did was unexpected. That old lady asked for my sup. Yes, that sup is still my sup until tomorrow. Then that sup thought it was a complaint so she gave me this "look", but then what the old lady did was commend me for good customer service. HAH!

If she sends out an email to the company regarding this, I will post it here. Just wait for it.

Oh and by the way, he is coming back on Sunday.

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*which means I am becoming an adult who is too used to this existence that nothing can amaze me anymore.

You can't experience being alive without realizing that you have to die. But it's impossible to realize you have to die without thinking how incredibly amazing it is to be alive.
~Jostein Gaarder, "Sophie's World"

It seems like my supervisor has been treating me well lately... I just learned the reason why.

Half of the people in our team will be removed from the special group and that included me. That means I will be reporting to a different supervisor despite the fact that I underwent training for that team. That's ok. I am more than glad to leave the "special" team and report to another supervisor. But the problem is I am being forced to transfer to a morning shift. That means start time would be 5-6AM. I do not like that. Why? First is that I am not a morning person. I do not perform well in the morning. I do not wake up as early as that and I may be having problems reporting to work on time. Then, morning shift would mean no night differential. As in less than about P1,600 PER PAYDAY!!! I CANNOT DO THAT! In my situation right now as a breadwinner, that is NOT an option.

He is still in the province. It was our 5th month yesterday. Hope to see him soon.

Work performance tonight not that good. Mostly problem calls. Those types that cannot be resolved within 7 and a half minutes.

Whatever I do, I always get...


What Finding Nemo Character are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Here I am doing overtime. *sigh*

It's bad when you really need cash huh? I felt bad for not attending the moot earlier today. I had to rest so I can do OT tonight.

But being busy also helps in lessening loneliness.

It's the weekend again. I miss him.

maybe, I need to see the daylight
to leave behind this half-life
don't you see I'm breaking down
lately, something here don't feel right
this is just a half-life
is there really no escape?
no escape from time
of any kind
~Duncan Sheik, "Half-Life"

So far, I like what's happening to me at work today (performance-wise). A friend told me, "Mahirap ka pala pag nagagalit."

Never underestimate me. I know what I can and cannot do.

-----------------

I had an embarrassing moment. I just saw my QA screenshots and the system was able to record my monitor. I was writing in blogger and everyone could read my entry. I mean, everyone in this company.

Glad the entry was an old one and there was not much personal info that was exposed. Glad I passed that QA assessment too.

Saw to it I was early today. As expected she had something to say about my performance yesterday. We'll see...

Performance today not that good too. She makes one wrong move, then I'll resign before she has the chance to termiinate me.

Bitch.

It feels good that I'm not the only one thinking that way. Goes to show the problem is NOT with me.

-------------------
Oh and I have a friend who just texted me to inform me he will be a daddy in five months. He's only 20 and he is not married.

So, what's new?

What a way to end this fuckin' day.

My last call lasted for almost TWO hours! I know I am NEVER going to hear the end of this from that supervisor.

Damn it.

Today is an even sadder day.

It is still raining. He also left for the province and we don't know when he'll be back. I know I am being over-sensitive again since I got affected when he didn't reply to one of my messages and I have been ignoring him since.

Then I got to work late and had this "incident" with my supervisor. I know I am going to dread the next three months that I will be under that supervisor's team. I just hope it will not lead to me resigning because of that person. I never encountered a supervisor as OC-OC, as unfriendly, as unapproachable as that person. (And it's not just me who's complaining. I wonder if I can open this up to HR... but I don't want any further complications. My situation is already complicated as it is.)

Small World

Before I head for home, let me just write this entry.

This is such a small world. Aside from the fact that a lot of people I know turn out to be working in the same company as I am, I am still surprised when I see a familiar face in the office.

First was my co-intern in one of the hospitals I had my internship in.
Second was my "former" bestfriend who turned out to be a close pal of the owner of our graveyard food provider.
Third was someone I met from the Sci-fi Fantasy Convention and one of the more popular members of TPTS.
Fourth was when I found out my teammate is the girlfriend of one of my high school classmates and this teammate is also a close friend of one of the people in TPTS.
Then today I just met a high school classmate. A known "chick boy" and an ex-bf of one of my close friends. He works here too. I am not that surprised. He told me he is waiting for his wife who is currently working in another building. His wife (civil) is one of our high school batchmates too. Whew! And they have three kids!

I just had a realization: that most of my high school batchmates seem to still be in the same circle. They still have connections and communication with each other. I learned that so-and-so is the godmother of the kids of so-and-so, then this girl is with this guy and this girl is pregnant, yada-yada... they are like "inter-related"! Is it just me who doesn't have that strong a bond with my high school "world"?


I guess it has always been my choice to be far away from them as possible. High school life was not the best moment of my life. True, there were great and unforgettable days, but I have always been a serious student in high school. Not to mention my father was a teacher then too. But I seem to be a goody-two-shoes and I regretted not being spontaneous and fun and naughty even for a while. Maybe that's why I seem to be making the wrong choices lately and still don't realize what I really would want to do with my life.


Seems like people are heading somewhere and I feel stuck in a limbo.

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I'm not afraid
Of anything in this world
There's nothing you can throw at me
That I haven't already heard

I'm just trying to find
A decent melody
A song that I can sing
In my own company

I never thought you were a fool
But darling look at you
You gotta stand up straight
Carry your own weight
These tears are going nowhere baby

You've got to get yourself together
You've got stuck in a moment
And now you can't get out of it

Don't say that later will be better
Now you're stuck in a moment
And you can't get out of it

I will not forsake
The colors that you bring
The nights you filled with fireworks
They left you with nothing

I am still enchanted
By the light you brought to me
I listen through your ears
Through your eyes I can see

And you are such a fool
To worry like you do
I know it's tough
And you can never get enough
Of what you don't really need now
My, oh my

You've got to get yourself together
You've got stuck in a moment
And you can't get out of it

Oh love, look at you now
You've got yourself stuck in a moment
And you can't get out of it

I was unconscious, half asleep
The water is warm 'til you discover how deep

I wasn't jumping, for me it was a fall
It's a long way down to nothing at all

You've got to get yourself together
You've got stuck in a moment
And you can't get out of it

Don't say that later will be better
Now you're stuck in a moment
And you can't get out of it

And if the night runs over
And if the day won't last
And if our way should falter
Along the stony pass

And if the night runs over
And if the day won't last
And if your way should falter
Along this stony pass

It's just a moment
This time will pass
~U2, "Stuck in A Moment"

Today is a sad day. I think it has something to do with the rain. I mean, I left the house at half past nine and everyone at home are ready to snuggle in their comfy beds and I am about to face another shift at work. The streets were wet and although I have a jacket and umbrella, I was soaked too.

I am also feeling paranoid.

Just had a long weekend. Three days without calls! Whoopee! I can say that was one of the best weekends in my life. I had a slight "image change". My hair's 3 inches shorter (but still below shoulder so you can imagine how much my head weighed before). I felt relaxed and renewed. Told ya I just need a break.

Today, we are undergoing training. I am part of a team (some sort of a "special group" in our team) and I will just have lectures for tonight. So that means four days without calls. I hope I could handle my day tomorrow when I start getting calls again.

Watched "Finding Nemo" with my sister. I had a good laugh I must say. Love those types of movies. It makes me leave the moviehouse lighthearted. Just like "Lilo and Stitch".

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NOTE TO SELF: Get some sleep.

Yesterday was not good.

Today started not that great either. I hope it ends with a blast. It's Friday. I've been waiting for this day. Since I started working here 6 months ago, I don't have any absences. But today, I am going to give myself a break. I filed for leave today so I won't be here tonight. I am thinking of working on Sunday instead but I'll get to that decision later.

A lot of calls today. A few more hours to go.

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I got a huge pimple on my lower left cheek and another one on the right side of my forehead.

When I'm down, I'm REALLY down... Damn.