Endshift... Release!

Uhhh... Endshift... Release... Resign?!



Gonna go eat my salad now.

30 minutes ago, I went on lunch mode. I should be eating my salad right now. But guess what, I am waiting for the airline agent on my end to help me resolve this case. Tsk tsk!

Last four hours in this hellhole. This day could not get worse, but I might be wrong. I'm glad after this day, I'll begin to appreciate my life and myself again.

My last day at work.

I woke up from a horrible nightmare. Then I arrived late. Then I lost my beloved comb. It may have accidentally dropped from my bag. My first call lasted for about an hour because two airlines won't accept the responsibilities of their schedule change so I was transferred from one agent to another like a ping-pong ball.

I'm looking forward to a grand last day ahead.

(It must be one of the jokes life is playing on me.)

Namarie!
(Farewell)

Later tonight is my last shift with PS.

Thank you for the memories created, lessons learned, moments shared and knowledge gained.

Expect the Unexpected

Life can bring all sorts of things. Sometimes, even though I try my best to be prepared in facing what it brings, I still find myself open-mouthed and wide-eyed after a certain event or circumstance left me unaware. Good thing I still have what I call "the capacity to bounce back". That means, more often than not, after I hit on something I never expected and fell down, I still have the courage to dust myself and get up.

There are things that I face that may be as simple as a change of plans after preparing for it the whole day. Like preparing for a date and then at the last minute, my date decides he cannot go. "Rebounding" is as easy as removing the makeup and changing the clothes and probably thankful that I wont have to leave the house that day. I may feel a bit stupid after getting all excited with all the preparations and may feelings may be hurt. But hey! There's always Kleenex to remove the makeup and probably wipe the tears.

Then this morning I was looking forward to having my picture taken for my Social Security card when I found out SSS has been upgarding their computer system and they are not accepting any applications right now. That sucked since I seldom get a time off and all that time and effort did not give me the result I wanted.

Anyways, I wrote this entry not just because I experienced a couple of unexpected events today. It's just that this story disturbed me--- the story about a three-year old kid who died last Friday. I had nightmares about it last night after my sister told me that her classmate witnessed a three-year old baby girl fell down from the third floor of this mall near my former University. I mean, I go to this mall almost everyday of my college life. I can practically close my eyes and still know my way around it.

I should probably blame my vivid imagination and my sister's animated story-telling as she described how her classmate saw a blurry thing fell down from the upper floor. Then someone screamed below. Followed by a mother's frantic cry, "Anak ko!" (Stupid, stupid mom for leaving her kid alone. What a pity though.) Then the classmate looked down to see a small child wearing blue with her face down on the floor. A security person ran to her to take her to the hospital, which is just beside the mall but I doubt the kid is alive. Then the classmate (who is a guy) saw the bloody and broken face of the kid. He threw up in the comfort room.

I was not able to catch it on the news that Friday night since I was at work. But I can still feel goosebumps when I think about it. I'll never feel the same when I stroll in that mall again.

Now, who could be prepared for that? And how could someone "bounce back" after that?

I have no idea.

Love Thought for the Week
(Week 4)

Wind snuffs the light of little candles,
yet it kindles the flame of a bonfire;
So where absence kills a little love,
it fans a great one.

~Anonymous

This is it.

Three days off and when I get back, I'll officially pass "the letter". It would be my first so it's a personal record-breaker. As early as last week, I have been getting questions and curious glances. But then I believe it is the best course to take so I have to steer my wheel.

This rarely happens but I love it when I get my way and nobody can do anything about it. Yeah baby!

Mine lasted about 23 years and 7 months.

Courtesy of Garfield.

I had to choose between staying in my comfort zone and facing the unknown. I am not the daring and adventurous type but since I am human, I had to get a gasp of fresh air when I'm being suffocated. That's what I did.

Next week, I'll file my resignation. I don't know what is in store for me but I do hope it would be better.

I'm just counting the days before I close another chapter in my life and start a new one.

A Woman's Worth
~Author Unknown~

In a brief conversation, a man asked a woman he was pursuing the question, "What kind of man are you looking for?"

She sat quietly for a moment before looking him in the eye and asking, "Do you really want to know?"

Reluctantly, he said "Yes."

She began to expound... "As a woman in this day and age, I am in a position to ask a man what he can do for me that I can't do for myself. I pay my own bills. I take care of my household without the help of any man... or woman for that matter. I am in the position to ask 'What can you bring to the table?'"

The man looked at her. Clearly he thought that she was referring to money. She quickly corrected his thought and stated, "I am not referring to money. I need something more. I need a man who is striving for perfection in every aspect of life."

He sat back in his chair, folded his arms, and asked her to explain.

She said, "I am looking for someone who is striving for perfection mentally because I need conversation and mental stimulation. I don't need a simple-minded man. I am looking for someone who is striving for perfection spiritually because I don't need to be unequally yoked... believers mixed with unbelievers is a recipe for disaster. I need a man who is striving for perfection financially because I don't need a financial burden. I am looking for someone who is sensitive enough to understand what I go through as a woman but strong enough to keep me grounded. I am looking for someone who I can respect. In order to be submissive, I must respect him. I cannot be submissive to a man who isn't taking care of his business. I have no problem being submissive... he just has to be worthy. God made woman to be a help mate for man. I can't help a man if he can't help himself."

When she finished her spill, she looked at him. He sat there with a puzzled look on his face. He said "You are asking a lot."

She replied "I'm worth a lot."

Cancer

Intuition serves you well with regard to career matters. You may have been formulating a few ideas as to how to advance yourself, and today it may all come together for you. You may be eager to get going with them, but make sure you don't jump the gun. Moving before the time is right could sabotage the very ends you want. Use both intellect and intuition to assess the situation objectively, then move when it's time.

--------------------

I have decided. So be it.

Love Thought for the Week
(Week 3)

We want each other so,
to comprehend
The dream, the hope, things
planned, or seen, or wrought.
Companion, comforter and
guide and friend,
As much as love asks love,
does thought ask thought.
Life is so short,
so fast the lone hours fly,
We ought to be together,
you and I.

~You and I, Henry Alford

Finally, I completed updating my New Worlds album. I had to go through the old-fashioned developing and scanning and uploading.

Just click this if you wanna view it. Make sure to sign up for an imagestation account first if you are not a member.

A lot of things happened recently. Sunday night was amazing! It was my very first (late) V-date. I'm happy.

Yesterday, I got a job offer from another company. Since I'm not happy wth my current job anymore, I'll be accepting it any moment now. I have talked this over with my parents and although I'll be back to being a probie, that would be fine. I believe this is going to be a better opportunity for me. So, wish me luck!

I went to the mall earlier today. A lot of people wore red and I was glad I was wearing pink. Haha!

What's the big deal with Valentine's Day anyway? Flowers are overpriced, restaurants are overcrowded, couples everywhere. I mean why celebrate love one day in a year when you can make a whole lotta lovin' the whole year round, right? And I don't mean just between lovers.

A friend sent me a message earlier saying he has no date today. I told him me too and what's worse, I have work tonight. But I told him that the fact he doesn't have a date on Valentine's versus having dates on other days of the year... I mean 1 day versus 364 days (or 365 during leap year) is NOT a bad thing, right? But kidding aside, not having a date does not mean nobody loves him. I think that goes out to all people, epecially those who feel depressed during Valentine's.

I don't know what's the matter with me. This is not the pessimistic me. Maybe because I feel really, really felt awful at work today and I just need to focus on something positive. It's tough not knowing what my next step would be but I'm glad there are people who support me in whatever decisions I make.

Happy Hearts' Day!!!

The Interview With God


~Author Unknown~

I dreamed I had an interview with God.

“So you would like to interview me?” God asked.

“If you have the time” I said.

God smiled. “My time is eternity.”
“What questions do you have in mind for me?”

“What surprises you most about humankind?”

God answered...
“That they get bored with childhood,
they rush to grow up, and then
long to be children again.”

“That they lose their health to make money...
and then lose their money to restore their health.”

“That by thinking anxiously about the future,
they forget the present,
such that they live in neither
the present nor the future.”

"That they live as if they will never die,
and die as though they had never lived.”

God’s hand took mine
and we were silent for a while.

And then I asked...
“As a parent, what are some of life’s lessons
you want your children to learn?”

“To learn they cannot make anyone
love them. All they can do
is let themselves be loved.”

“To learn that it is not good
to compare themselves to others.”

“To learn to forgive
by practicing forgiveness.”

“To learn that it only takes a few seconds
to open profound wounds in those they love,
and it can take many years to heal them.”

“To learn that a rich person
is not one who has the most,
but is one who needs the least.”

“To learn that there are people
who love them dearly,
but simply have not yet learned
how to express or show their feelings.”

“To learn that two people can
look at the same thing
and see it differently.”

“To learn that it is not enough that they
forgive one another, but they must also forgive themselves.”

"Thank you for your time," I said humbly.

"Is there anything else
you would like your children to know?"

God smiled and said,
“Just know that I am here... always.”

V'Day 2004

Looking forward to a meaningful V'Day this year. Oh correction, I'll be at work on the 14th so it won't be meaningful after all. Hahaha! Anyways, there's always the 15th, 16th or 17th...

A lot of concerts to go to-- Boyz II Men with Brian McKnight, Toto, James Ingram with Patti Austin, Incubus, Jason Mraz, plus some local artists like Regine V and Ogie A and more local band concerts in the UP Fair.

My sched won't allow me to go to UPD for the Fair. My pocket won't allow me to watch these sentimental Valentine's concerts. So, what would be the alternate V'Day date?

New workstation. New supervisor. New teammates. New break times. Same days off. Same job.

I don't give a fiddler's fart.

Love Thought for the Week
(Week 2)

The fountains mingle
with the river,
And the rivers, with the ocean;
The winds of heaven mix forever,
With a sweet emotion;
Nothing in the world is single;
All things by a law divine
In one another's being mingle--
Why not I with thine?
~Love's Philosophy, Percy Bysshe Shelley

I missed another party tonight because of my work schedule. So, what else is new?!

THE GREATEST ADVICE
~Author Unknown~

(NOTE: Got this from an email a friend sent me.)

Don't date because you are desperate.
Don't marry because you are miserable.
Don't have kids because you think your genes are superior.
Don't philander because you think you are irresistible.

Don't associate with people you can't trust.
Don't cheat. Don't lie. Don't pretend.
Don't dictate because you are smarter.
Don't demand because you are stronger.

Don't sleep around because you think you are old enough and know better.
Don't hurt your kids because loving them is harder.
Don't sell yourself, your family, or your ideals. Don't stagnate.

Don't regress.
Don't live in the past. Time can't bring anything or anyone back.
Don't put your life on hold for possibly Mr/Mrs Right.
Don't throw your life away on absolutely Mr Wrong because your biological clock is ticking.

Learn a new skill.
Find a new friend.
Start a new career.
Sometimes, there is no race to be won. Only a price to be paid for some of life's more hasty decisions.

To terminate your loneliness, reach out to the homeless.
To feed your nurturing instincts, care for the needy.
To fulfill your parenting fantasies, get a puppy.
Don't bring another life into this world for all the wrong reasons.

To make yourself happy, pursue your passions and be the best of what you can be.
Simplify your life. Take away the clutter.
Get rid of destructive elements: abusive friends, nasty habits, and dangerous liaisons.
Don't abandon your responsibilities but don't overdose on duty.

Don't live life recklessly without thought and feeling for your family.
Be true to yourself. Don't commit when you are not ready.
Don't keep others waiting needlessly.

Go on that trip. Don't postpone it.
Say those words. Don't let the moment pass.
Do what you have to, even at society's scorn.

Write poetry.
Love Deeply.
Walk barefoot.
Dance with wild abandon.
Cry at the movies.

Take care of yourself. Don't wait for someone to take care of you.
You light up your life. You drive yourself to your destination.
No one completes you - except YOU.

It is true that life does not get easier with age.
It only gets more challenging. Don't be afraid.
Don't lose your capacity to love.
Pursue your passions.

Live your dreams.
Don't lose faith in your God.
Don't grow old. Just grow YOU!

Physical or Psychological

Muscle Pain Syndrome. Rehab doctors fondly call it MPS. I just made a PT diagnosis for myself. I have been ignoring this chronic ache on my upper back for several years now (Yes, years!) and these past few days, the "ignoring" has taken it's toll. I was on bed and ready to sleep at about 9AM earlier. I couldn't find a comfortable position because of my MPS. By noontime, I begged my brother for a massage and I was able to sleep by 1PM. Imagine the agony!

Maybe it's a physical condition. Maybe I'm also stressed out from thinking about the things happening at work nowadays (I have plans to quit once I could get an assurance that the new job is better). Maybe I'm thinking of all sorts of things that's why I couldn't sleep. Maybe it's a mix of both physical and psychological conditions. I know one thing, I need help... Maybe from a doctor or a therapist. Or maybe a spa with whole body massage will do or just an ol' comfy sincere hug from a friend.

My sis likes Hayden Christensen. That's why I had to watch "Life As A House" earlier coz she rented the VCD. At one moment there a finger got numb after I kept pinching it just to prevent myself from crying.

Something happened today. It made me sad and a bit angry. But some things happen for a reason, so I let it be.

Love Thought for the Week
(Week 1)

I love you
For the part of me
That you bring out,
I love you for putting your hand
Into my heaped-up heart
and passing over
All the foolish, weak things
That you can't help
Dimly seeing there,
And for drawing out into the light
All the beautiful belongings
That no one else had looked
Quite far enough to find..."
~Ray Croft

On my rest days, I

Slept the entire Monday, therefore missing an interview for a possible new job. My mom was mad at me for that. I had my reasons of not going. I was awake for 20 hours already at that time and only had a 3-hour sleep, I don't think I'd be able to answer questions in that interview and I never liked their newspaper ad in the first place.

Then came Tuesday. After a long, long time, I watched a movie again alone. Made some lame excuse to him so we can meet later than usual. I missed spending time with myself, so I watched "Brother Bear" alone and it was fun!

Went to the VCD rental place since we don't have cable TV anymore. Since it's already the love month, I rented two love stories. One which I consider a classic and another one which is a bit out of the ordinary. "A Room With A View" intrigued me. Most girls would prefer Daniel-Day Lewis or Julian Sands, but I think Rupert Graves is the cute one there! Hahaha! On the other hand, "Punch Drunk Love" made me sleepy at first because of some dragging scenes, but I must admit Adam Sandler did a great job in that movie.

I also had some disturbing dreams about this guy I knew way back in fourth grade. I don't know why I had a dream about him since I never thought of him for years now.

I had breakfast with my work teammates this morning, thus lessening my sleeping time. But that's ok. I like their company and I like sharing stories with people who can understand me somehow in terms of career situation.

Instead of sleeping at 8AM, I slept at 11AM. Woke up at 1PM to go to our Pizza Moot. Arrived there with my sis and met lotsa newbies! Picture-taking everywhere! (Lau, wait for our pics and the New Worlds poster Ulan will be sending you). Since we arrived late, no more pizza left for us. So, my sis and I got our own pizza instead, shared some sis-to-sis bonding time, strolled around the mall and went home just in time for me to prepare for work. So, I'm here at work, tired and sleepy. I still have the energy, but we'll see what happens later.

But I'm glad I'll be having my days off.

Pizza Moot Pictures already available!