letting go

I was mad at him yesterday that I, after much deliberation on my part, finally told him over the phone, "...I better let go".


I had to think a lot of times before I said that since I have to make sure I am ready to accept whatever answer he gives.


Am I ready to go back to being single?


Sure, I'll miss the laughter, those warm hugs, the kisses, the companionship. I'll miss my confidante, bestfriend and critic. I'll miss getting that white tulip he'd buy after getting his first paycheck (that would be 2 weeks from now). I'll miss the fun times and kilig moments. I'll miss pigging out with someone who does not care if I eat too much and who worries if I skip meals. I'll miss having a hand and to hold while watching movies. I'll miss sharing my plans and enthusiasm for life with someone. I'll miss these things and a lot more.


He said he wanted to talk to me in person. I try to be careful coz I don't want regrets. We could remain together or become just friends or not, it depends on the outcome. I'm open to sort things out with him but if I am not satisfied, I gotta let go-- for my sake.


But I can manage. I think.


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~


Put away the pictures.
Put away the memories.
I put over and over
Through my tears
I've held them till I'm blind
They kept my hope alive
As if somehow that I'd keep you here
Once you believed in a love forever more
How do you leave it in a drawer?


Now here it comes, the hardest part of all
Unchain my heart that's holding on
How do I start to live my life alone?
Guess I'm just learning,
Learning the art of letting go.


Try to say it's over
Say the word goodbye.
But each time it catches in my throat
Your still here in me
And I can't set you free
So I hold on to what I wanted most
Maybe someday we'll be friend's forever more
Wish I could open up that door


Now here it comes, the hardest part of all
Unchain my heart that's holding on
How do I start to live my life alone?
Guess I'm just learning,
Learning the art of letting go


Watching us fade
What can I do?
But try to make it through
the pain of one more day
Without you


Where do I start, to live my life alone?
I guess I'm learning, only learning,
Learning the art of letting go.

~The Art of Letting Go by Mikaila