cool off

I went to our meeting place looking forward to a movie and dinner together-- maybe a couple of stolen kisses too. After two weeks of not seeing each other, I never expected that, pardon the drama, I went home with a heavy heart. Blame his insensitivity and my foul mood, we both were mad and went on our separate ways. He's got some personal issues to sort out. I noticed I get affected by that. I mean, we rarely see each other and when we get together, he was in a hurry. He could have explained to me that he's not feeling well and aside from the career dilemma, he also has a family problem. I could have understood. I'm not stupid. He's feeling low and it's like he's pulling me down with him even when I am trying my best to pull him up. I've been helping him since we got together as a couple but if he doesn't take charge of his life and help himself, I can't do anything anymore.





Ironic that the movie we saw was "War of the Worlds" and we ended up having a mini-war ourselves. I like the movie, of course it's Steven Spielberg. Two thumbs up for Dakota Fanning's acting, but so-so for Tom Cruise. I didn't like the ending either. I was like "That's it?!" Well, I hope I could read the book by H.G. Wells. I can't even write a decent movie review since I got home really pissed off. I fought back my tears and that was really a struggle. My throat hurt. He never even attempted to talk to me before we separated. If people try to solve their problems before they sleep at night, the world would be a better place. At that time, I was more mad than sad, so I put up a brave facade when I faced my mother and sister. It's good that when I got home, the Hallmark channel was showing Ursula K. Le Guin's "Earthsea". At least I did not spend the night moping in my bedroom.


I cannot imagine being in this situation a few days before my birthday. So, I imposed this sort-of time out between us. He didn't agree but he didn't say anything either. So, I took that silence as a yes. They call this a "cool off" in a relationship-- a period where one can take time to reflect until one is decided to reunite or to let go. Which one will it be? We'll let time decide.





ayoko na munang makita ka
ayoko na munang makasama ka
gusto ko sanang mapag-isa
'di na yata tayo masaya
'di na yata kakayanin pa
gusto ko munang mapag-isa


siguro'y ito na nga
intindihin mo na
kailangan lang natin ng pahinga


palayain ang isa't isa
kung tayo, tayo talaga
palayain ang isa't isa
kung tayo, tayo talaga


ayoko na munang lapitan ka
ayoko na munang makausap ka
gusto ko sanang mapag-isa
'di na tayo magkasundo
sumisikip na ang ating mundo
time out muna tayo


siguro'y ito na nga
intindihin mo na
kailangan lang natin ng pahinga
~Cool Off by Session Road