Venting

vent
n.
A means of escape or release from confinement; an outlet: give vent to one's anger.
venting, vented, vents
v. tr.
To express (one's thoughts or feelings, for example), especially forcefully.
v. intr.
To vent one's feelings or opinions.
from dictionary.com

11:23 AM, 8 February 2006, in a mall


This is one of the bad days at work. I tried several times to vent today-- cried in the comfort room, punched the cement wall twice (that hurt!), texted rants to someone, talked about it to those willing to listen. What I just did is the best I can think of to help me release some tension. I splurged in the mall. My money can only cover cheap things, but it's splurging nonetheless. I'm a few pesos poorer now since I bought some things, which are not really necessities. Before I go home, I thought I'd write this first.


I have worked in this God-forsaken industry with money as my number one goal. The work is easy-- mentally un-challenging to the point of brain cell atrophy (a word here which means "dying a natural and painless death") BUT emotionally stressful. The pay is good, maybe better than most jobs in the city. I'd just be prone to carpal tunnel syndrome from all that typing and also prone to urinary tract infection from all that call-of-nature prevention and also hemorrhoids from all that sitting. I know now why the pay is a bit higher. Of course there is politics. Where in the world can we escape politics? Payday makes me a one-day millionaire, but money is temporary. The happiness it brings is temporary too.


I don't want to take fucking calls anymore! I'm burning out. This usually happens when I'm nearing a year in a company. A couple of days ago, our batch officially turned 11 months. That means we can now resign without paying a training bond.


Lately, I've thought about my sacrifices responsibilities as a breadwinner. It's tough when money plays a major role in the lives of middle-class families like ours. It makes or breaks a relationship. When I think of this, I just swallow the lump in my throat and just continue slaving working. It's just hard coz I don't like the job I'm doing. I wonder if there will ever come a time when I earn enough to provide a comfortable home to my family and at the same time, enjoy what I'm doing. I just hope I'll get to experience that.