falls apart

She falls apart by herself
No one’s there to talk or understand


I can't press the Go-to option on my cell phone or else it hangs and restarts by itself. My wallet's zipper can't be closed so the coins keep falling out. My trusty ol' rubber shoes are tattered. My closet fell apart (and is currently being fixed by my bro). My watch's case has a huge crack on it (and is currently being examined by my father to see if he can still fix it). I did washed my bag and sneakers but it seems like it would rain. My so-called love life is in a hold and I woke up with my neighbor loudly playing these mushy love songs such as "Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word" and stuff like that. Aaargh!


Feels the sting dries her eyes
Finds herself opens the door and sighs


It seems like everything in my life is falling a part. And it's only a few days before I turn a quarter of a century. *sigh*


People see right through you
Everyone who knew you well


At least it turned out my sister has no duty this July 11, so she can attend the Gaiman writers' forum with me. Now, let me find some other reasons to smile about.


Falls apart might as well
Day is long and nothing is wasted
~Falls Apart by Sugar Ray

cool off

I went to our meeting place looking forward to a movie and dinner together-- maybe a couple of stolen kisses too. After two weeks of not seeing each other, I never expected that, pardon the drama, I went home with a heavy heart. Blame his insensitivity and my foul mood, we both were mad and went on our separate ways. He's got some personal issues to sort out. I noticed I get affected by that. I mean, we rarely see each other and when we get together, he was in a hurry. He could have explained to me that he's not feeling well and aside from the career dilemma, he also has a family problem. I could have understood. I'm not stupid. He's feeling low and it's like he's pulling me down with him even when I am trying my best to pull him up. I've been helping him since we got together as a couple but if he doesn't take charge of his life and help himself, I can't do anything anymore.





Ironic that the movie we saw was "War of the Worlds" and we ended up having a mini-war ourselves. I like the movie, of course it's Steven Spielberg. Two thumbs up for Dakota Fanning's acting, but so-so for Tom Cruise. I didn't like the ending either. I was like "That's it?!" Well, I hope I could read the book by H.G. Wells. I can't even write a decent movie review since I got home really pissed off. I fought back my tears and that was really a struggle. My throat hurt. He never even attempted to talk to me before we separated. If people try to solve their problems before they sleep at night, the world would be a better place. At that time, I was more mad than sad, so I put up a brave facade when I faced my mother and sister. It's good that when I got home, the Hallmark channel was showing Ursula K. Le Guin's "Earthsea". At least I did not spend the night moping in my bedroom.


I cannot imagine being in this situation a few days before my birthday. So, I imposed this sort-of time out between us. He didn't agree but he didn't say anything either. So, I took that silence as a yes. They call this a "cool off" in a relationship-- a period where one can take time to reflect until one is decided to reunite or to let go. Which one will it be? We'll let time decide.





ayoko na munang makita ka
ayoko na munang makasama ka
gusto ko sanang mapag-isa
'di na yata tayo masaya
'di na yata kakayanin pa
gusto ko munang mapag-isa


siguro'y ito na nga
intindihin mo na
kailangan lang natin ng pahinga


palayain ang isa't isa
kung tayo, tayo talaga
palayain ang isa't isa
kung tayo, tayo talaga


ayoko na munang lapitan ka
ayoko na munang makausap ka
gusto ko sanang mapag-isa
'di na tayo magkasundo
sumisikip na ang ating mundo
time out muna tayo


siguro'y ito na nga
intindihin mo na
kailangan lang natin ng pahinga
~Cool Off by Session Road

ready?

I am. Definitely. I attended the volunteers' briefing yesterday. I haven't caught a snooze after my shift so I was in the Powerplant mall a bit sleepy and very exhausted. But that didn't stop me from tingling up when I saw all the Gaiman books being sold! Wow! If only I were rich...


Anyways, I attended the briefing and am quite excited for next week. I saw our black t-shirt and our volunteer ID. They were so cool! I'll make sure I take an extra vitamin C so I could avoid having a fever and flu again, which usually happens if I don't sleep for 20 or more hours straight. That's what's gonna happen to me this coming Saturday. But since it's a once in a lifetime event, I don't care... even if it's my birthday the next day. I just wish I don't sleep my birthday away. Haha!



Gaiman valuables


On the left side of the pic is a sample of the Gaiman flyer Fully Booked is giving out for additional promotion. On the lower right side is my British Council invite for the writers' forum on Monday. On the upper right side is my book signing pass. Two were actually given to each of the volunteers without even having to buy a book! Cool huh? But I still wanted to own "Smoke and Mirrors" with Gaiman's autograph. The book is actually sold out in the Powerplant and Gateway branches. Thanks to a kind soul (hi Nina! :)), she went to Bibliarch today and bought some books for herself and got me this book too! Yay! :) Anyways, the piece of paper at the bottom of these stuff are those confidential info for Saturday's "The Gathering" given to the volunteers. Hehehe!

Potter Parties and books galore!

Can't wait for July 16?! Wish you were clutching "Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince" (Book 6) in your hands?! Don't worry, July's here and it's only a few days left...





Here's a bit of a news from The Leaky Cauldron.


Here are pics of the books being opened... *shivers running down my spine*


And if you wanna be the first in line, Pinoy Harry Potter (Hogwarts Philippines) is organizing the "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince" Book Launch will be held at Fully Booked at the Powerplant Mall, Rockwell, Makati City from 7am to 10pm. There will be lots of activities!


For more info, please visit Hogwarts Philippines or see and compare it with other book launch parties worldwide in Potter Parties!

first day of the seventh month

July 1, 2005. First day of my birth month.


Got into the top ten performers for the past two weeks at work (quality-wise), so that made my day. Still thinking about the lousy fact that I am still the second-best in his life. So sometimes, I kept thinking about The One Who Got Away instead. Felt like I don't give a damn anymore. Also felt some animosity from a certain someone whom I never thought would react this way. What is your problem? I don't know why that person kept bugging me about my decisions--- albeit they may be small, insignificant ones. I don't think that person is even affected by whatever decision I'm gonna make. Duh? Mind your own business, will you? Get a life. Envy is one of the 7 deadly sins, you know.