Sunday, May 01, 2016

Images

Random snapshots flash through my brain-- memories I don't want forgotten and moments I want to etch in my mind for as long as I can.

My everyday route is now composed of places with you in it. You were there sitting beside me during a bus ride. You were looking at me during a train ride. We were laughing together while walking along these shops in the mall. This was where we ate and where you bought my Valentine's chocolates. These used-to-be normal events are now special for me because of your presence. Now, I'm back to being alone.

I hope that one day soon, these images will be replaced by other memories. If not, I hope I can recall them again without the sadness. I hope.

Thursday, April 28, 2016

To The Man Who Will Not Accept My Love

I'm a romantic and that's my downfall.

I easily fall in love with people who find the time to make me feel special. I also easily get hurt in the process.

I have only been truly in love once and I was too young and he did not see me as someone he can be with for a long time. I have always been a victim of unrequited love and it made me a bit bitter and a bit jaded. Years passed and then you came along.

I thought this would be my love story, my fairy tale, my happy ending. I was ready to give the love I have been saving for a long, long time. I wanted to shout to the whole world that I choose you and you choose me. Our start was not as I imagined it to be. You were only able to give a part of your heart to me, but then we still decided to give us a try. It was not just physical. I know we have a connection that I cannot explain and I know I cannot find that with any other man. I wanted it to work. I wanted us to work so badly.

Despite everything I did, you still cannot give me your whole heart. I am just a routine. I am just there when you need me. You cannot give me the honor of calling me your girlfriend. You cannot tell me you love me to my face. I started to wonder why.

Is it you? Are you in love with someone else? Do you think there is still someone out there who can make you happier? Do you see another woman in your future?

Is it me? All my insecurities came flooding in. Maybe I am not a girlfriend material. Maybe I'm too fat or too old. Maybe I am just not that someone you can proudly call "Hunny" or any other pet name in front of your friends. Maybe I am asking for a lot. Maybe I desperately wanted you to be a part of my life and my future.

I have given it some thought. Sometimes, I wonder if I can do it-- if I can just make my feelings stop. I will miss our talks, our laughs, our special moments together. I will miss the electricity I feel when you touch me. I will miss our private jokes and weird connections. I have been alone for so long, maybe I am meant to be alone. Time is not a luxury for me anymore. I cannot wait indefinitely for someone who cannot even commit himself to me and for something that will never happen. I'm sorry if you also get hurt, but I can't do this anymore. Maybe it's about time I learn to love myself again.

Sunday, January 25, 2015

Lullabies

LullabiesLullabies by Lang Leav
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

There are books that need to be experienced, not just read and reviewed.

There are books that affect me on a personal level that I had to pause and think after finishing a page.

There are random words that can be combined by an artist to create something meaningful.

"Lullabies" is Lang Leav's sophomore book. Like the first one "Love and Misadventure", it is "woeful and whimsical". This time, though, it included longer, deeper and more sensual poetry. You can either hate it or love it.

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Sunday, January 04, 2015

Let It Snow

Let It SnowLet It Snow by John Green
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

I always had this idea that you should never give up a happy middle in the hopes of a happy ending, because there is no such thing as a happy ending. Do you know what I mean? There is so much to lose.

This book has three interconnected stories focusing on three different plots. The stories are written by three authors.

Surprisingly, my favorite was the first one written by Maureen Johnson. The main character was funny, quirky and loveable. The second one is my second favorite, written by one of my favorite authors of all time, John Green. As expected, he wrote like he were stuck in his teenage years and that's a good thing. The story was fun and light. It has quotable quotes like I expected it to have. I had a love-hate feeling for third story by Lauren Myracle. At one point, I think I rolled my eyes, but the main character has her own redeeming factors.

The book succeeded in making me think of Christmas and love, but I don't think this is the perfect read if it was snowing outside and I had to curl up by a fireplace.

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Friday, December 19, 2014

Flipped

FlippedFlipped by Wendelin Van Draanen
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Some of us get dipped in flat, some in satin, some in gloss...
But every once you will find someone who’s iridescent, and when you do, nothing will ever compare.


The movie was highly-recommended and I loved it. It was almost identical to the book.

This story is written from the points-of-view of Bryce and Juli, with overlapping events. It showcased the characters' personalities. The author wrote it in a way that I can feel when the characters start to mature. It's funny and entertaining. It made me want to fall in love again. Ah, to be young and in love! :)


I wish people could see both sides of the story in real life. There would probably be less misunderstandings and more happy endings.

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