Friday, February 20, 2009

Not Into Me

I just watched that movie "He's Just Not That Into You". I have to read the book. I swear! Not only did I really relate to the movie, it made me laugh and cry. It made me swear to myself not to fall in love again, and made me wanna fall in love all over again (think of the song "Buses and Trains" by Bachelor Girl).

Am I the rule or the exception?

Monday, February 16, 2009

25 Random Things

I lost count from the tags I received. I am tagging anyone who wants to answer. So, here goes...

1. I've always wanted an older brother because I want someone to take care of me and baby me.

2. I do not memorize the multiplication table in English. I studied in a Chinese school until I was 10, so I memorize it in Chinese (Fukien).

3. I still keep the diaries I wrote when I was in grade school.

4. I easily fall in love. (Aww!)

5. I had my first kiss when I was 22.

6. I really cry easily. Even TV advertisements make me cry.

7. I am a visual learner/person.

8. I used to say I want to get married at age 27. Now that I'm 28, I don't know if I want to get married at all.

9. When I'm quiet, I may be upset, in deep thought, bored, sleepy or just amused.

10. I never practiced my profession.

11. I tend to overanalyze things.

12. I have a feeling I was male in my previous life. (Yes, I believe in reincarnation.)

13. I want to learn how to cook.

14. I want to learn how to swim.

15. I love food but I want to lose weight.

16. My idea of a perfect date is good food, good wine and good conversation by the beach under the stars. =)

17. I wanted to run away from home when I was younger, but I was too much of a coward to do it.

18. I gush when I see old people holding hands (or displaying affection) in public.

19. I am a touchy person to people I'm close with.

20. I'm a hopeless romantic to the point of cheesiness. I'm a sucker for love stories, fairy tales and happy endings.

21. I would like to travel the world before I die (or even after I die).

22. I collect shoes, bags, perfumes, CD's and books.

23. I'm scared of roller coasters but I'm not scared of heights.

24. I dream in color. I usually dream of running and being chased.

25. When I was young, I wanted to either be a doctor or a marine biologist.

For Friends...

... who turn my frown into a smile
... who listen to my silly stories
... who listen to my even sillier love songs
... who accept me for all my imperfections
... who adjust to my moods
... who understand my predicaments
... who are there when I need them the most
... who remember me even when I'm away
... who give thoughtful gestures
... who take care of me
... who know how to say the right things at the right time
... who fight for friendship and what it represents
... who work hard and play harder
... who are brutally honest
... who value my opinion
... who won't allow distance or time drift us apart
... who teach me how to love
... who are there when I fall
... who are still there when I get up
... who make life easier
... who make the world a better place


Friday, February 06, 2009


And, when you want something,
all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.

~ Paulo Coelho, "The Alchemist"

I am blaming the Universe for the pretty weird things that happened to me today. It was a choice between the past and the present (or possible future?). I made a choice and I have no regrets. (Note to self: Read private blog.)

I didn't intend to be in this position. I didn't force myself to feel this way. Sometimes, life has a cruel way of letting me learn my lessons. I have to quit over-analyzing. I have to stop worrying. I just have to continue being my fabulous self (Hahaha!) and concentrate on work.

I am partly letting go-- not of him, but of myself. It's like being bonded in chains. It's suffocating. Everyday is a puzzle. He's the reason but I am to blame. So, I'll just give him what he wants. If it's time, he can have it. I am not planning to hang on more than I intend to or want to. I'll let him enjoy what he needs to enjoy. That's what he wants. Me? I have to move on... but I will continue to think about him, care for him and possibly even love him... more than he'll ever know.

Tuesday, February 03, 2009


"Patience is a virtue" or "Time is gold"?

A few days from now, a good friend of mine is leaving for London. A few months from now, another good friend is coming back from the States. People come and go. People pass me by. I have always been here-- waiting for things to occur, waiting for life to happen, waiting for time to pass and waiting for my chance to come. I know I should do something, but I always play safe. Do I remain here in my place and let opportunities pass me by?

I have grabbed the chances I can get, but there are certain chances that require great risks. My so-called career is going smoothly. I don't regret any big decisions I have made. Recently though, I realized that when it comes to romance and matters of the heart, I am scared. I don't want to end up broken-hearted again. Am I already jaded? Or am I just playing safe?

The thoughts have been killing me. The mystery is eating me day after day. I hate this feeling of not knowing. Should I ask and risk everything or should I wait for the universe to conspire in achieving my heart's desire? Hahaha! Or maybe, I should just stay the same-- crazy ol' me. Always waiting. Always here.