Thursday, October 23, 2008

Give Me Something

You give me something
That makes me scared alright
This could be nothing
But I'm willing to give it a try

~* "You Give Me Something", James Morrison *~

I've been sick since I got back from Bacolod-- cough, sniffles, sore throat, you name it. I blame it on overfatigue and lack of sleep. Work's not helping either. I wonder if this is gonna improve. I would like to stay positive and think that it will, career-wise. I am still as lost, if not even more lost, than before. But after going through the real-life drama of losing a loved-one, the roller coaster ride of family issues and problems, I am still glad to be here. I just wish that my existence will really make an impact on other people, if not on myself.

Our trip to my grandmother's house the past weekend brought about a mixture of emotions. I was sad because she passed away. I was sad because I kept seeing my mother cry. I was sad because I kept seeing my aunts and uncles cry. I cried myself. But I was also happy because it was like a mini-reunion of my relatives from my mother's side of the family. They were all complete including my nephews and nieces, cousins, second-cousins, long lost relatives, long-lost friends, long-lost neighbors and even relatives I didn't even know existed! Seeing everyone there, making up for lost time, sharing stories and even forgiving and forgetting that they even have existing arguments made the stay there more bearable.

It also happened to be the final weekend of the Bacolod MassKara Festival. My siblings and I went to the city proper to catch a glimpse of it. It was the first time for my sister. We didn't stay long because we lacked the time and the crowd was too much to handle when we got there. If it were another time and circumstance, I would have enjoyed and every minute of it! I wish I could go back there for a real and a long vacation, hopefully someday.

I just wish the world could stop turning just for an hour or so and I'll just stay still and ponder on what I am doing and where I am now. Having gone through a whirlwind of experiences these past few days made me reflect on life more and appreciate what I have more. Yes, even if I do complain most of the time. =)

I am grateful to all my friends, relatives, co-workers, everyone who gave their condolences, shared their sympathy and tried to comfort my family in any way. Thank you all!

Friday, October 17, 2008

Back to the City of Smiles

This weekend is going to be a long one for me. Our flight leaves very early tomorrow morning. I am expecting longer nights as we wait for my grandmother's burial on Sunday, October 19. I bet there is going to be a sort-of family reunion. This year is history in the making for me. We are going back to my hometown for the second time within one year after not going home in more than 12 years. If I were going there for a vacation leave instead of a bereavement leave, I wouldn't mind the sleepless nights. This Sunday also happens to be the culminating day of the MassKara Fetival. I haven't witnessed that live since I was in elementary school. I am expecting to see a very busy and crowded city tomorrow. That also explains the sky-rocketing prices of airplane tickets. Oh well, I don't know if we can attend that. Maybe my grandmother wouldn't mind. Hehe! =)

Saturday, October 11, 2008


My grandmother passed away early this morning. She was 86. I know she is in a better place now. We are all going to miss her. =(

Friday, October 10, 2008

What's Killing Me Now...

* WORK: It's stressful. I'm in a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" situation. I'm missing my supposed break schedules. I'm skipping meals. I'm always, always physically and mentally exhausted. I'm not sleeping well.

* FAMILIAL THOUGHTS: My grandmother is very weak now. I hate to admit it but she may pass away any time. My mother is stressed out about my grandmother's situation. She is having health problems and all that thinking is also aggravating her heart condition. I don't talk or spend as much time as I want to with my siblings or father. Blame it on my hectic and draining work schedule.

* LIFE: No fun at all at this point in time.

* MY FEET: I've been wearing 2-and-a-half-inch pumps for the past 4 days and 80% of my time at work is spent standing and walking. They're throbbing like hell now.

* REALLY NICE LOVE SONGS: I have been officially single for more than a year now and there are some songs in my current playlist with lyrics that can just drive me crazy IF I were in love. Hehehe!

Saturday, October 04, 2008

Brown Flirt

Enough of the serious blogging. It's Saturday and I am going to be silly and I am going to have fun. I deserve it! =)

So, here are two not-so-important information about me that I got from Blogthings. Since I don't wanna continue being "negative" in the blogosphere as of now, here goes...

Your Hair Should Be Brown

You are an intelligent, well respected person.

You are very confident. You take yourself seriously, and other people take you seriously too.

You are a good leader, and you can be trusted with someone's life.

You motivate people well, and you command respect easily.

You are competent, successful, and organized. You can't stand chaos.

Some people mistake you for being cold, calculating, or elitist.

Good thing my hair color is dark brown. =)

Your Physical Flirt Level: 90%

You are a major physical flirt. You definitely can't keep your hands to yourself!

Whether you're playing footsie or giving a lingering hug, you're known for touching.

And while some people may welcome this flirting style, not everyone likes it.

Don't stop touching people, but make sure your advances are appropriate and welcomed.

I don't blame myself for being naturally "touchy". That's innate. You gotta feel it to believe it! Hah! =)