Thursday, October 23, 2008

Give Me Something

You give me something
That makes me scared alright
This could be nothing
But I'm willing to give it a try

~* "You Give Me Something", James Morrison *~

I've been sick since I got back from Bacolod-- cough, sniffles, sore throat, you name it. I blame it on overfatigue and lack of sleep. Work's not helping either. I wonder if this is gonna improve. I would like to stay positive and think that it will, career-wise. I am still as lost, if not even more lost, than before. But after going through the real-life drama of losing a loved-one, the roller coaster ride of family issues and problems, I am still glad to be here. I just wish that my existence will really make an impact on other people, if not on myself.

Our trip to my grandmother's house the past weekend brought about a mixture of emotions. I was sad because she passed away. I was sad because I kept seeing my mother cry. I was sad because I kept seeing my aunts and uncles cry. I cried myself. But I was also happy because it was like a mini-reunion of my relatives from my mother's side of the family. They were all complete including my nephews and nieces, cousins, second-cousins, long lost relatives, long-lost friends, long-lost neighbors and even relatives I didn't even know existed! Seeing everyone there, making up for lost time, sharing stories and even forgiving and forgetting that they even have existing arguments made the stay there more bearable.

It also happened to be the final weekend of the Bacolod MassKara Festival. My siblings and I went to the city proper to catch a glimpse of it. It was the first time for my sister. We didn't stay long because we lacked the time and the crowd was too much to handle when we got there. If it were another time and circumstance, I would have enjoyed and every minute of it! I wish I could go back there for a real and a long vacation, hopefully someday.

I just wish the world could stop turning just for an hour or so and I'll just stay still and ponder on what I am doing and where I am now. Having gone through a whirlwind of experiences these past few days made me reflect on life more and appreciate what I have more. Yes, even if I do complain most of the time. =)

I am grateful to all my friends, relatives, co-workers, everyone who gave their condolences, shared their sympathy and tried to comfort my family in any way. Thank you all!

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