Monday, October 31, 2005
posing by the pool
My legs are aching after walking up People's Park in the sky and going up and down the stairs in Tagaytay Zoo to see the lion's den but it was all worth it.
with the tiger
Of course it wouldn't be complete with a picture of Taal Volcano.
More pics in my Multiply album and a counterpart in my Photobucket album.
We are still not in speaking terms (me and my Ma), but that's fine. Oh and I finally reserved seats here for November 16 to watch "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire". I got 3 tickets. Hopefully by that time, Ma will be speaking with me lest my sis and I have to find another companion. I have to sleep again since I gotta get to work tonight. Thanks for all those who contacted me to show their concern. I hope everything's gonna be ok too. :)
Saturday, October 29, 2005
I am not supposed to be online today, but I need to vent and I don't like to surf at home, so I'm here somewhere in Makati Avenue typing down the scribbled notes I wrote at work earlier. I can't believe I cried at work last night. I had to compose myself and nearly came in late.
I have nothing against parents wanting only the best for their children. Of course, they have more experiences and learned more lessons. But what I don't like is when they have dreams and frustrations and they force their decisions on you so that they can achieve those.
I don't know where to start. I guess if you know me, I'm not the type who answers back to my parents. Last night, the topic about marrying a rich foreigner came up (again). You see, I have this cousin (let's call her cousin 1) who married a foreigner whom she met online. I have this other cousin (let's call her cousin 2), who went to the same website to find the same luck. Now, she has this boyfriend, who's also rich and foreign (of course!) and is coming this Sunday. I remember my mother telling me to go to the same website and find someone for me. Well, I have been using the internet for 6 or 7 years now and I know some people online cannot be trusted. I already explained that to her. It's not me. That's not my personality.
She wanted us to go to meet the "new guy" this Sunday. I told her cousin 2 just did that because she is hoping that she'll find her rich prince charming who will let her live happily ever after. No, just kidding. I actually told her a different thing. Hehe! But it's basically the same meaning. You see, cousin 1, who now resides in London, has a life revolving around shopping, traveling and more shopping! (Wow! Who wouldn't want that right?)
So, this is what happened last night:
ME: Gaya-gaya lang naman sya kay -(insert cousin 1's name here)- eh!
MA: That's what you call practicality!
ME: That's what you call stupidity!
I even surprised myself with that remark, but then I just woke up and was not in a fancy-shmancy mood. I realized I shouldn't have said "stupidity". I should have said "desperation". Wrong choice of word.
Yeah, I would sure love a fairy tale life like theirs, but let me find my own way of achieving my dreams. Unlike them, I'm not yet nearly 40 and I'm still young (err... relatively) and I'm not THAT desperate yet. And that's what it took for her to ignore me (again). Well, if she wanted me to marry for money as an easy way out of poverty, she shouldn't have educated me. She should have taught me how to have a servant-like attitude and how to make myself pretty and exotic-looking for those foreigners out there. Hey, don't get me wrong. I have nothing against marrying a foreigner. In fact, I find a number of them attractive. It's the just-marrying-for-money thing that pisses me off. Marriage is not just about the money. Money should only be a plus factor, but it should not be the main reason for marrying someone, especially those from another culture. She shouldn't have sent me to UP where I learned how to be my own person and where I started building my dreams. They may be air castles now, but who knows?
I have spent a part of my life working for others. I understand that my career (or the lack of it) can be frustrating and my mother may want to get the results of her investments in me ASAP. I apologize for that, but marriage is a totally different thing. I don't want to live a life full of regrets.
Oh and FYI, cousin 1 is not even happy even if it seems like she has everything she needs. Why do I know? Now, that's another long story. I just hope that her relationship lasts because her husband is a gentleman and she's one of those lucky people who found one like that in the world wide web.
I hope the next post will be a more cheerful one. Out-of-town gimmick later! Yay! And my horoscope says:
CANCER -Tilt your head back and take a gander at the skies above you. Look like there's a storm coming? Sure is -- and it's going to be a great, big one. Does that mean your world will be blown apart? Hardly. The difference between whether this turns out to be a great day or a bad one lies in your attitude -- and that's the only variable over which you'll have control. Smile, then. A lot.
Friday, October 28, 2005
Thursday, October 27, 2005
If ever you feel down... lonely... angry... desperate... Because the world is not going your way... No matter what you do or say is not working... You have the right to feel this way...
Yes, 59 days before Christmas 2005. I hope this time, it's gonna be a merrier one. Life sure passes by... and I'm still here complaining what it has offered me. I have been having migraines these past few days due to lack of sleep. I know I should have slept now, but I don't want to. It's raining outside. I appreciate it when the weather sympathizes with my mood.
"Kaya mo to!"
Tulad ng isang tanglaw
Sa gitna ng bagyo
~"Liwanag sa Dilim" by Rivermaya
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
Remember my post yesterday? I was pissed off.
What's worse than a delay of payment? Cancellation. I was expecting to be in a raging mood, but although I am more than just disappointed, I wanna be calm about it and take this blow with my head held up high.
A few weeks ago, I posted about signing a contract for a new company that's taking over the account. So we should be getting our last paycheck next month. I planned my life around that thought and I guess that's one big mistake. The transition was supposed to happen last July, then it got postponed month after month. Yesterday, the new company decided to "terminate" because the "agreement was not met". Breach of contract? Probably, but let the big bosses handle the legalities. I just need the money.
So, what will happen to us now? It seems like we've just woken up from a wonderful dream with a splash of cold water. Back to reality. Everything stays the same. No improvements in the benefits. The future of the account is bleak, but what's important to me now is that I am employed and I am getting paid for working. That will suffice. Will I start looking for another job just in case? I don't want to start from scratch again. Call centers pay good money but give no stability. So, I'll probably wait and see what happens. In case the account gets pulled out, I'd still get my money. But there's no definite date in that. You may say it's only money. But money for my family means a lot, especially with both my parents not working and my sister still in school. Everything's on my shoulders. Darn. Ruined plans again. I hate it.
sa akin nang ikaw ay
maitangay sa kalayaan ng ligaya
tayo na, tayo na
ika'y magtiwala sapagka't
ngayong gabi ako ang
~ "Elesi" by Rivermaya ~
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
The expected last paycheck on November 11 may not come that day. Yes, I have filed a vacation leave to watch "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire". Yes, I have planned to treat my family out to dinner as an advance birthday celebration for my sis. Then this news came and ruined my week. Mind you, I am still gonna watch the movie but the dinner may not push through. Ugh!
I hate this feeling when my happiness depends on someone else's actions. Make this my mantra: Happiness is a choice. Must find a distraction. Must go swimming this weekend!
Or let's just watch the chicken dance and shake his tailfeather! Woot! Woot!
This is one thing I can think of right now that can make me laugh, it's Chicken Little. Isn't he the cutest thing? He knows how to breakdance too! I am officially a fan. :)
Monday, October 24, 2005
After my Friday shift, I had to run back home to catch some sleep in order for me to attend Chiqui's birthday moot*. I had to skip a team breakfast. Sorry guys, I know it's healthy to rant during team bonding, but sometimes it's nice to stay away from work and other work-related issues during weekends.
I was glad to have gotten at least a 5-hour sleep. But then it made me late for the moot. The mooters were halfway through the movie when I got in the mall. So, instead of catching half the movie, I strolled around the mall instead. Bad idea coz I missed meeting him, our VIP. (Hahaha!) Too bad. It would have made my day. Really. Maybe next time. But I got to join dinner and it was fun! A combination of Gabe, Miao and Sunshine never fails to make me smile and even laugh so hard my cheeks hurt! I also got a little surprise on my end, but I won't get into it lest anyone would conclude and rat on me. Let's just say that I kinda like this person and he's there during dinner and again, he might be gay. *sigh* So, what's the point, right?
Oh well, after dinner, I had to run again so I had to miss coffee and Red Box videoke (Waah!!! I really wanna go... *sniff*) but my parents and sister were waiting for me in Baywalk to watch Studio23's Baybreak. There was heavy traffic so I had to walk about 3 blocks and I was just in time to watch the 9 PM fireworks display. I missed Orange and Lemons and Brownman Revival. Waah! There were lots of people there and it was the first time my parents went to a Saturday-night gimmick with us, so it was nice to finally show them that we don't do stupid things when we watch gigs. I hope they enjoyed it coz they got to see some famous TV personalities and there were really a lot of families even bringing food there in Sulayman Park for a picnic.
My sister and I mostly stayed in Camp Yellow, the middle and main stage, and watched Barbie Almalbis and Kitchie Nadal perform. Ely Buendia (former vocalist of Eraserheads) was there to perform with his new band, The Pupils. Then we went to Camp Green and were just in time for Spongecola. My sis was screaming her lungs off for Yael. After they performed, we went out and looked for food. Yeah, looked for food since the nearby restos and even 7-11 were full of people. We missed Imago's performance and just heard their songs while we were buying food in another convenience store a couple of blocks away. We got back and ate and then went near the stage again to watch Mojofly. We like their songs too! We got nearer during the 12 midnight fireworks since we knew Rivermaya will perform next. The fireworks were really beautiful I had to snap a picture. Rivermaya was supposed to perform only 5 songs but they were waiting for Hale. They extended to 3 more songs, including a wonderful medley (Rico, Mike, Mark and Japs, you rock!). Their last song was "Sunday Driving" and there were some sound check problems. My sis and I were disappointed because Hale did not show up. So, I have more shots left in the camera. Oh and by the way, I don't have a digicam anymore, I'm back to the old stuff so I had to have the film developed and scanned first. Sheesh. Ya'll have to wait for the pics since I still have a swimming outing to go to this Saturday. Yay!
Sunday morning, I watched "The Buried Secrets of M. Night Shyamalan" in HBO. It was creepy and very, very interesting. I thought over it but I don't wanna post my thoughts here. He might know. If you wanna know what I'm talking about, tune in to HBO Asia this coming Saturday, October 29 at 2:45PM, Philippine time. =)
Sunday afternoon, we scoured some nearby ukay-ukay for a shirt and some shorts but we didn't see anything worth buying. So, we went to the mall instead. Got some cool shirts and a pair of flip-flops. Had more bonding time with my mother and sis too!
I just noticed that this weekend, I have sacrificed one for another-- my time with workmates to time with TPTS friends; then time with friends to time with my family. Although I missed lots of fun, I still ended up quite pleased with my decisions. There is indeed a time for everything 'coz we can't have it all at once. =)
*moot: derived from the word entmoot; a gathering of ents (treehearders) from JRR Tolkien's "The Lord of the Rings". TPTS has used this term to signify "meetings" or "EB's".
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
Forget about that and all the crazy politics at work. I can now blog with a clearer mind.
Everyone thought that this was Neil Gaiman's nice surprise for the Filipinos. We don't have any official word from Fully Booked yet, but this news was shared in Nocturne. $15,000 prize-money from the man himself! If this is the surprise they're talking about, then it is indeed a nice one.
I was browsing through Mr. Gaiman's journal and fell in love with this:
I don't think that I've been in love as such,
Although I liked a few folk pretty well.
Love must be vaster than my smiles or touch,
For brave men died and empires rose and fell
For love: girls followed boys to foreign lands
And men have followed women into Hell.
In plays and poems someone understands
There's something makes us more than blood and bone
And more than biological demands...
For me, love's like the wind, unseen, unknown.
I see the trees are bending where it's been,
I know that it leaves wreckage where it's blown.
I really don't know what "I love you" means.
I think it means "Don't leave me here alone."
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
Monday, October 17, 2005
Sunday, October 16, 2005
Here are the rules to the tag.
1. Delve into your blog archive.
2. Find your 23rd post (or closest to).
3. Find the fifth sentence (or closest to).
4. Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions. Ponder it for meaning, subtext or hidden agendas.
5. Tag five people to do the same.
Gawd, I want Mark!!!
Yes, that was it. That was Mark Feehily I'm referring to. Ponder it for meaning? I don't think I have to 'coz the meaning's too clear when you read that statement. Subtext or hidden agendas? Hmm... Probably at this time, my hormones were raging that's why I wrote that. Haha! But then at that time, everything about what I know about Mark was different. Call me a boyband-girl and I don't care. I was so into Westlife that I watched all their concerts here in Manila and I have three photo albums full of their pictures. Mark's my fave of all. He was my ideal guy (I was idealistic then too! Haha!). It was just last August when he admitted he was gay. This was my post then.
Now, I tag five people: Loryces, Ava Sharra, Joyce, Ian and Jovan.
Met with Lisse for lunch and a movie. Watched "Lord of War". He thought it was the usual noisy action flick, but it's really not. I love it. Why? Coz I saw Jared Leto in the big screen again and gawd, he is still gorgeous! Love his eyes. Aside from that it also helped that Ethan Hawke played the antagonist plus Ian Holm, who played Bilbo Baggins in "The Lord of the Rings", is also in the movie. Ok, enough of that shallowness. I ended up really listening to the lines in the movie, especially Mr. Cage's:
Some people say 'evil prevails when good men failed to do nothing'. They should say 'evil prevails'.
This is my personal fave:
There are two tragedies in life: not getting what you want and getting what you want.
I forgot where I read this but they say the good thing about dreaming is dreaming itself-- the yearning of something you don't have. That once you got what you want, the excitement stops. That's probably why most people are not contented with what they have. We often long for things we don't have.
So, I got home and watched TV for a few hours then slept for 12 hours. This morning, my sister updated my Friendster profile.
It's a Harry Potter theme now coz GoF is less than a month away. Ang gulo ng pics noh? But it's ok. I like the pics of the champions plus Ron and Hermione and the texts are readable so that'll do. Besides, my sis made it for me. Thanks! :)
I just realized the reason why I like Stanislav Ianevski (who plays Viktor Krum). He looks like Mark Feehily (my ideal guy who turned out to be gay; the Irish lad from Westlife). Look!
Just look that the eyebrows and the eyes. Oh my! So, if you know anyone who also looks like them, contact me ok? I'd appreciate it. Haha! :)
Friday, October 14, 2005
This post is an unpaid advertisement for my friend, Neko-san (not her real name. Haha!) This is actually voluntary on my part. She is in need of people who can provide a caring home for her pet kittens. There has been a recent population explosion of the feline community in their household. For more info and for her contact number, please check out her blog (title means cat's house). Free delivery (but I think only within Manila or in Paranaque, if I'm not mistaken). :)
Thought of taking a pic while I'm halfway through the book...
hardcover. Anansi Boys. Neil Gaiman.
taken using Nokia 6610i
Gotta love that 7-legged spider! :)
Thursday, October 13, 2005
Anyways, I just thought listening is the best way to understand people's sides. I don't wanna take sides though 'coz I have my own opinion of things. But I think I kinda like being in the middle. At least I'm friends with everyone and that's what is important to me. Some people may annoy me or piss me off but never to the point where I consider the person an enemy. I guess what I have to do is just be honest about my feelings.
Oh and I am sooo looking forward to our team's plan of going out of town one of these days! It's been a long time since I breathed fresh air and I'm excited about it. Then I filed for vacation leave on November 16 (Harry Potter fans know why!) I'd probably treat the whole family to dinner as an advance celebration of my sister's 19th birthday on the 26th (I may not have the money at that time! Ha!). :)
By the way, Neil Gaiman won the Quills Award in the Graphic Novel Category for "1602". Neil, you rock! :)
'Di na nagbago'ng bawat araw pare-pareho parang kahapon
~"Tumatakbo" by Mojofly
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
Since I don't want to isolate myself, I went with the flow. The office is a small place and we can't help but mingle with each other. Little did I know it was stressful. Yes, indeed. Since I'm no tattletale, it seemed like I absorbed all the grievances of each party. I don't want to be a hypocrite. I hope one of these days, we all get together and just honestly talk about our feelings. No if's, not but's, no excuses.
Yesterday, I had some argument with my Ma (what's new?) about the PT application abroad (again?!). Now, my body is aching and I'm awaiting that long overdue monthly period.
I don't even know what's the point of this entry... I think I just need an iced white chocolate mocha with mint from the friendly (and expensive) neighborhood coffee shop. Yum! :)
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
Monday, October 10, 2005
We are very, very small but we are profoundly capable of very, very big things.
Saturday, October 08, 2005
|You Should Get a MD (Doctor of Medicine)|
You're both compassionate and brilliant - a rare combination.
You were born to be a doctor.
Yeah, I have always wanted to be a doctor. I can still remember I was 7 when I started writing in those autograph books (no internet yet):
Ambition: to be a doctor
I love to stay in hospitals. When I'm confined, I feel special and important and very much loved. I like the clean scent and the extra care people are showing each other. I don't just mean doctors/nurses to patients. I also refer to family members and loved ones. I know when I think of hospital, I think of "expensive", but knowing that people will do anything to keep a loved-one/patient safe and healthy reminds me that there is still compassion in humanity.
What happened to my ambition then? Well, after years of education, I realized that I wanted to be a doctor mainly for the money, but I can't afford to pay for Med school. I thought I'd take PT since it would be a good pre-Med course. But then after finishing BS PT, I also realized that I don't want to prolong my agony by studying for 5 or so more years after the board exams. I am working in the callcenter industry now, and I have no plans of continuing to Medicine anymore. But I promise myself I will go back to school and maybe take up further education (Masterals?) in Pediatric Physical Therapy. I would love that! *dreaming*
Friday, October 07, 2005
By October 23, I will be under a new company. Currently, I work in this company in one of its numerous accounts. The account I'm in was bought by a new company as this new company starts to expand their business here in the Philippines. Good thing about this is, I won't have to be working for one company and work for another (sounds complicated for those who are not familiar with the call center industry). To make it more simple, I won't have "two bosses" anymore. I'll just have one big boss -- the new company.
I am excited and nervous at the same time. I like routine and sometimes, drastic changes really stress me out. Yeah, sometimes they physically stress me out that I miss a month's otherwise-regular menstrual cycle! By next month there will be new schedules, new supervisors, new management, new faces on the floor... The new company has not stated the new benefits yet but since they promised they will meet or even surpass what we are being offered right now, I'll take their word for it.
So, the last paycheck from the current company will be on November 11 (and I am sooo looking forward to it!). By that time, I would know what my new schedule is until the end of the year. I hope weekends are still my days off since I don't want to report for work (NOT AGAIN! EVER!) on Christmas Eve and New Year's Eve. I don't wanna cry going to work again like what happened to me a couple of years ago. I also hope I would be able to file a vacation leave for the 16th of November (Harry Potter fans know the reason why. Hehe!)
Ever had that feeling when you just want to fast forward the days? There's only one thing that keeps me from crossing days on my calendar. Some people will be leaving the company for good (after November 11). I'm gonna miss them for sure, especially my teammates.
And Yuki... All I can say is, follow your passion. Be where you're happy. I'll miss the laughs and the stories and the sex talk. Hahaha! Live and love and take care of your heart (and pocket!). Hope you'll find the man... err... woman (?!) who deserves you! Pinapaalis na kita kasi nag-gu-goodbye na ako. *Joke*
during one of those fun pantry "lunches"
More pictures with my friends and co-workers here in my Multiply album.
Thursday, October 06, 2005
Today is my brother's birthday. After breakfast with some officemates, I went straight to the mall and bought my bro a cake and some pizza for the family and bought that lovely watch I've been saving up for months (gotta grab the chance since it's 50% off). Got home and ate lunch and was happy chatting with my parents and bro (my sis is still in school) until I got online and read my inbox. Unfortunately, there really are people who would be insensitive enough (or arrogant enough) to ruin an otherwise fabulous day. I don't want to get into specifics 'coz lack of sleep and the time of the month may be two more factors causing this temporary increase in blood pressure...
I just wanted to rant. My point really is, look before you leap. Read your posts/replies before you click that mouse. Think over it and see if it's a nice thing or not. If it won't actually affect people in a negative way, then that's fine. Post away. Just remember that not all people are like you. We are all different and something that may give you pride may look like a sheer arrogance for others. Don't be a lurker.
Sana November 11 na... 'di ba officemates? Hehe!
Monday, October 03, 2005
my very own... my preciousss...
Yeah, I am too old for that. But since I considered this an emergency, I had to make use of that savings account I have. Hehe! Ok, fine. I will replace that ASAP. :p
Spent most of the time last night with three of my TPTS friends. We ended up having a coffee-thon in Glorietta 4, rummaging through used books in "Books and Mags" and ended it up with a yummy plate of Tapa King. I must get back to "Books and Mags". I bought the complete set of Stephen King's "Green Mile" for only P9 each! Nine pesos! That's P54 for the entire set! Hahaha! It was a wonderful feeling. By the way, I bought 2 Agatha Christie books too for the same price. =)
Sunday, October 02, 2005
Yesterday, I hung out with my friends at work. We had brunch and roamed around the mall, keeping an eye on things we want to buy and planning for a hopefully successful Tagaytay trip in the near future. It was enjoyable despite the weariness since we all just came our of an almost 10-hour shift. I would have wanted to watch Spongecola perform in the Glorietta activity center if only I wasn't too sleepy. Besides, my sister had classes so what's the point in staying until the evening?
Before I went home, I passed by Bibliarch and Sketchbooks, just to hold "Anansi Boys" in my hand. It was enchanting! Then I asked the salesgirl how many notes were left, she said less than 10 left. I looked at the back and saw the price Php1099. I then remembered, I gave an extra Php1500 to my parents for the apartment when I got my salary (aside from the usual amount I give them). I wanted to cry.
Oh well, such is life. =(
Just wanted to share this pic taken from my officemate's camphone. We were in the office elevator and we were all looking up the mirrored ceiling.