Sad Christmas Eve

I'm here at work spending Christmas Eve in the office. This is the first time in my life that I'd be spending Christmas Eve away from home. I was so decided not to go to work today despite the fact that my application for leave was not approved. What made me change my mind?

It was because I had to choose between sacrificing only one day, whether Christmas Eve or New Year's Eve, and I chose to sacrifice this night.

I knew that this job requires me to be flexible in my dates. I also am aware that we, employees, have the right to a few days vacation or sick leave. I was responsible enough to file it earlier so as to get a slot. Since I don't trust them to approve my New Year's Eve application for leave, I might as well be absent that day.

I was chatting with my best bud earlier. She made me realize that if both my applications for Christmas and New Year's Eve were not approved, I'll end up being absent for TWO days. I may end up jobless when the New Year starts. Will that help my family? No. I know they are the reason why I want to stay at home tonight. I want to be with them. Who knows we won't be together next Christmas, right? But I got to look at a bigger picture. My family needs me to have a job. Despite the fact that I am actually forcing myself to go to work everyday and I am not happy anymore, I have to do this unless I have a better alternative. Better means higher pay and lesser stress. But that seems improbable as of the moment.

So what am I to do? My friend has a point. I sacrifice one special holiday. I won't eat the food we prepared this morning. My family was, well, sorry I have to go to work. But we don't have much of a choice. I cried on my way here. Now were being served food. Is this a compensation for the sorry asses who need to work tonight? I don't think it will suffice.

For those people reading this, I hope that unlike me, you have a HAPPY CHRISTMAS. From my heart, I truly wish you do because it will help lessen the load a bit. At least I know there are people happy celebrating this season with their loved-ones.