... I can't please everybody. ... I can't force someone to like me. Nobody really knows me like I know myself. ... People come and go in my life as they please, but there will always be reasons why they leave or why they stay. ... Music inspires real life. ... Real life experiences make good music. ... Love can be expressed in many ways. ... A good laugh is one cure for emo-ness. ... Any relationship should be nurtured by two people and not just one. ... Impressions will always remain just impressions unless proven otherwise. ... My family will always accept me and love me, whatever I may become and whatever decisions I may make. ... When there comes a time when I think nobody believes in me, I just believe in myself and the rest will follow. ... Communication is the key to still keep people a part of my life. ... Communication, like love, is a two-way street. ... Time waits for no one. ... When I lose someone, that's when I realize his or her importance. ... When someone makes bad choices that doesn't mean he or she is a bad person. ... There should always be balance between time with friends, family and self. ... I can never be too careful especially if I hurt easily. ... I should learn from past mistakes. Experiences teach lessons and lessons are there to be learned. ... Reality is subjective.
Friendship. Food. Music. Love. I had a mish-mash of them today. I consider myself lucky.
The past few months, I have learned to appreciate what life has to offer. After the storm, I found myself finding reasons to be happy. Life will never be perfect nor fair, but this is what is given to me. I won't always be contented. I have my weaknesses. There will be things I think I need to do or find, but don't know what or how to or don't have the guts to. I won't please everyone, but when I have the peace of mind I needed to sleep soundly at the end of my day, I survive.
I am grateful to the people and events that help me know myself more. The journey will have its bumps and bruises but the lessons are there to be learned. There will be crappy and bullshitty days, but I will find another B.S. -- life's Brighter Sides.
(My thoughts after watching "Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince" for the first time)
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IMHO, It is one of the best, if not the best, Harry Potter movie to date. David Yates has pressure on his shoulders to surpass this as he finishes the last book adaptation and divides it into two films.
I miss the old characters because they have lesser screen times, but I like the new ones (I think Cormac McLaggen and Tom Riddle are dashing!) and I love how the main characters have evolved. There was a great improvement in Dan's and Emma's acting-- Dan because he became the sensitive and mature Harry, Emma because she became sweeter and less hysterical (haha!) while still staying Hermione-ish. Hats off to Sir Michael Gambon and to Tom Felton! The portrayal of their characters awed me.
Watching the first 20 minutes in 3D was breathtaking as expected, though I would have wanted to see the last scenes in 3D instead, starting from the cave scene. That scene reminded me of Gandalf (from "The Lord of the Rings") battling the balrog with a lot of "Gollums" crawling around him. Good thing Harry was there to remind me it was his movie (haha!). That scene was so touching it made my throat hurt. My favorite scene was when Draco lowered his wand, then Dumbledore said to Snape, "Severus, please..." I cried. A lot of people did. Maybe watching it on a screen that's 2-stories high does wonders.
I immensely enjoyed the "puppy love" moments. I appreciate the additional scenes at The Burrow, which supported what Hermione said to Harry in the next scene-- that he's an easy target. I applaud the trio's chemistry because they needed to establish that for the upcoming movie installments.
I wanted to see the D.A. (Dumbledore's Army) fight with the deatheaters when they entered Hogwarts, similar to the fight in the Department of Mysteries in the last film. I wanted to see the white tomb and all creatures mourn Dumbledore's death. The last scene with Fawkes is not as touching. I can't have it, all I guess.
The 6th book is probably the most difficult to be adapted into the big screen because it's more of a narration or explanation of how Voldemort came to be the darkest wizard in Harry's time. That's probably why some people got bored or disappointed. For me, they showed me a movie fit to portray the death of the greatest wizard who ever lived. That's enough reasonfor me to watch it again and again.
my birthday, 2009 (For my friends. Inspired by the Wave 20 scrapbook received on July 9, 2009. Written on the scrapbook as well.)
I've read a lot of fiction in my life, but reading heartwarming greetings and messages from people who mean so much to me make me realize how great it is to be living in the real world! =)
I'm grateful I got to know each of you because every person who enters my life touches and influences me more than I could ever imagine. We all have our own differences, opinions, personalities, priorities and beliefs, yet our paths have crossed. I have always believed that everything happens for a reason. I may not know or understand it yet but eventually, I will. Still, I am grateful.
A lot of you have wished me "true love" and "lovelife", well thanks! Hahaha! But then again, love comes in a variety of ways and not just the romantic kind. I have a loving family and great friends (like you!), what more can I ask for? Long-legged duchess? Heehee.
Again, thanks for the sweet messages. I will forever treasure what we have. =)
After procrastinating for several weeks... erm... months, the long weekend helped me relax, unwind and finish three books, much to my contentment.
"The Supernaturalist" by Eoin Colfer
This is very entertaining. I am fond of the Artemis Fowl series and this is even more "futuristic" than that. Cosmo Hill's heroic, albeit naive, character is refreshing. Eoin Colfer's "juvenile science fiction with a heart" plot is still palpable in this book. Honestly though, I would still choose Artemis Fowl with his genius and sarcasm, over Cosmo Hill.
"The Time Traveler's Wife" by Audrey Niffenegger
It's been a while since a work of fiction made me cry. Reading this book ended that tearless, dry spell. The story was well-written. It is science fiction but what touched me is that behind the tragic plot, the characters' emotions are tangible and real. The book is about love that has no boundaries or limits, not even time itself. It's heartwarming and, at the same time, heart-wrenching. It's a classic!
I can't wait to see the movie especially since Henry DeTamble will be played by Eric Bana. =)
"The Giver" by Lois Lowry
After reading the book, I wanted more. It was the same feeling I felt after reading Neil Gaiman's "The Graveyard Book". I craved more of Jonas adventures. I even want to see the story on the big screen. The book reminded me of "Stepford Wives" combined with M. Night Shyamalan's "The Village", minus the suspense. I enjoyed the book! =)
I was sipping my favorite ice-blended milk tea when I noticed a commotion outside. People from all ages were trying to get a better view. It was the kids' expression of awe that caught my attention. It made me remember my own childhood. The world was then a place to explore. Life is an adventure. Happiness can be found in simple things. Nothing was routine. Boredom does not exist. I was easy to please.
We were halfway in watching the show when the sky was lit up again. I realized I never really lost the child in me. Simple things can lighten my mood-- the great weather that night; the wonderful live music from two stars who overcame a lot of obstacles but still found ways to make their dreams a reality; and the fact that I was sharing the experience with my sister and friends. It was worth the wait.
courtesy of Logan fireworks taken during the David Cook & David Archuleta concert 16 May 2009
I smile at the memory because life can be like fireworks-- dangerous, beautiful and random. It will never cease to amaze me. =)
The past few weeks have been a blur. I have set my pace and routine at work. I'm doing ok. These, then, are just random musings that have been running through my head. They are robbing me of sleep right now.
Two weekends ago, I went with some friends to a remote place up north. The place is called Anawangin and it's in Zambales, about a 3-hour car ride away from Manila. There was no electricity, no running water, and no phone signal. It was a "getaway" in the very essence of the word. I had fun. I was glad I came with friends. I even found new friends during that stay.
click pic to view album
The past few days, I have been reading this book. The movie counterpart helped me "get back on my feet". The book is ironic but funny. I can't help but snicker when I read its wit and sarcasm. It's just common sense, but sometimes, we need to be reminded (or maybe slapped in the face) that we are lost in our own fantasy world. Reality check is needed.
If I've read this book earlier, it would have saved me a lot of time and effort in over-analyzing things.
So, thanks to the concept the movie and book taught me. Thanks also to *that* mysterious guy who has been making his presence known in my dreams lately. I hope he leaves my dreams and shows up in my real world again. >_<
Fun. Each minute was entertaining. I could barely see the stage, but we were near the big screen so it was cool.
Loud. We were near the speakers, so I got temporarily deaf in my right ear.
Crowded. I'm just glad we didn't lose each other.I got tired standing but it was all worth it.
Enjoyable. I wasn't embarrassed to dance and sing because everyone was doing it. I noticed a lot of fans having fun and it felt good. Most of them are in my age bracket as well. Oh yeah, I'm getting old.
Meaningful. Francis M. should have been there to sing my used-to-be work anthem "Superproxy". He will be missed. On the other hand, I think Ely justified the rap part plus the singing of "Kaleidoscope World". That gave me goosebumps.
Memorable. It is one of those concerts I've attended that I won't forget. It's my first Eraserheads gig and it may as well be my last. *sniff*
Nostalgic. The fact that they performed together is nostalgic enough. Imagine watching music icons performing live. Each song reminded me of happy and, sometimes, boring but eventful memories from my past. I never imagined those songs would trigger them and even make me remember all the lyrics. People can't help but get teary-eyed after "Ang Huling El Bimbo".
I took the long way home. It was tiring but I didn't want to call it day yet. So, I walked. I passed through rowdy crowds, blaring music and tempting leisure activities. I was exploring my options. Still, I went on. I wanted my feet to take me somewhere I haven't been to before. But since I'm no expert on spontaneity, I just ended up buying a drink to rehydrate. I made a quick plan and entertained my options. It turned out, short notices don't always work out.
It was midnight. If I were a stranger watching myself at that moment, it would look like I have a destination or purpose in mind. Deep inside, I pitied myself. I found myself walking past strangers with blurred faces. I was not alone, but I felt lonely.
My legs were aching, but I moved on. My mind was racing as well. I was thinking of possibilities that may turn out untrue. I ws thinking of people who may not even spend a minute thinking about me too. Life can be unfair.
Since I wasn't brave enough to go through dark alleys, I hailed a cab. I was thinking, if I were at the same place in a different time and I had someone to walk through the dark alleys with me, I wouldn't have minded. But life has to go on. Getting in the cab, I could have gone to anywhere, but I ended up choosing familiar destination.
I'm home as I'm writing this. I'm alone in my room, but I'm feeling a certain comfort. I don't feel so lonely anymore. I'm calling it a night.
I just watched that movie "He's Just Not That Into You". I have to read the book. I swear! Not only did I really relate to the movie, it made me laugh and cry. It made me swear to myself not to fall in love again, and made me wanna fall in love all over again (think of the song "Buses and Trains" by Bachelor Girl).
... who turn my frown into a smile ... who listen to my silly stories ... who listen to my even sillier love songs ... who accept me for all my imperfections ... who adjust to my moods ... who understand my predicaments ... who are there when I need them the most ... who remember me even when I'm away ... who give thoughtful gestures ... who take care of me ... who know how to say the right things at the right time ... who fight for friendship and what it represents ... who work hard and play harder ... who are brutally honest ... who value my opinion ... who won't allow distance or time drift us apart ... who teach me how to love ... who are there when I fall ... who are still there when I get up ... who make life easier ... who make the world a better place
And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it. ~ Paulo Coelho, "The Alchemist"
I am blaming the Universe for the pretty weird things that happened to me today. It was a choice between the past and the present (or possible future?). I made a choice and I have no regrets. (Note to self: Read private blog.)
I didn't intend to be in this position. I didn't force myself to feel this way. Sometimes, life has a cruel way of letting me learn my lessons. I have to quit over-analyzing. I have to stop worrying. I just have to continue being my fabulous self (Hahaha!) and concentrate on work.
I am partly letting go-- not of him, but of myself. It's like being bonded in chains. It's suffocating. Everyday is a puzzle. He's the reason but I am to blame. So, I'll just give him what he wants. If it's time, he can have it. I am not planning to hang on more than I intend to or want to. I'll let him enjoy what he needs to enjoy. That's what he wants. Me? I have to move on... but I will continue to think about him, care for him and possibly even love him... more than he'll ever know.
A few days from now, a good friend of mine is leaving for London. A few months from now, another good friend is coming back from the States. People come and go. People pass me by. I have always been here-- waiting for things to occur, waiting for life to happen, waiting for time to pass and waiting for my chance to come. I know I should do something, but I always play safe. Do I remain here in my place and let opportunities pass me by?
I have grabbed the chances I can get, but there are certain chances that require great risks. My so-called career is going smoothly. I don't regret any big decisions I have made. Recently though, I realized that when it comes to romance and matters of the heart, I am scared. I don't want to end up broken-hearted again. Am I already jaded? Or am I just playing safe?
The thoughts have been killing me. The mystery is eating me day after day. I hate this feeling of not knowing. Should I ask and risk everything or should I wait for the universe to conspire in achieving my heart's desire? Hahaha! Or maybe, I should just stay the same-- crazy ol' me. Always waiting. Always here.
Sometimes, things or people aren't what they seem.
Sometimes, when a door closes, another window opens.
Sometimes, when a chapter ends, another one begins.
Somehow, I can't help but feel disappointed. I have to blame myself for expecting too much. Life isn't perfect. People don't always stay. In as much as I would want to and I would gladly exert all my effort, some things just don't last. It's sad.
Good thing, there's always a diversion. When people come and fade away in life, new faces will appear and offer a smile. New personalities will emerge. Sometimes, they remind you of the old ones who fade away. Sometimes, they're a welcome change. They won't replace the old ones. They never will, but it is refreshing. It reminds me of the changes in season. Right now, I am having a cold winter, but I know there will be spring soon.
My horoscope today states: CANCER Your more self-nurturing instincts are coming to the forefront today, and while it might send you down an anti-social path for a while, in the end it's a very good thing to start listening to your own needs right now. Start forgiving yourself for what you may have done, and think about where you want to take things from here -- instead of wondering why things don't always end up being the way you wanted them to be. It's a time of reflection, but it's also a time of healing.
Anti-social path, here I come? Nah. Hahaha! Healing it is. =)
I processed my clearance at work today. I felt nostalgic knowing that after more than 3 years, I will not be stepping foot in that office building to work anymore. It was good though because I also felt relieved. I know I won't be dragging myself to work again. I will be bringing good memories from that place. I am also going to miss the people, no doubt about it. I am grateful that I have known them.
Moving on, I will start with my orientation/induction tomorrow with the new company. I feel excited and anxious at the same time. I will be meeting new people and they will meet me as well. I would have to give it my best shot there. I promise myself that. I am looking forward to it.
The lunar new year is almost here. I have heard that the year of the ox is a good year for those born under the year of the monkey. I feel the same way. For instance, this career move is a risk I am taking and the year just began. I have the whole year to make happy moments. I know I will do well there.
Matters of the heart? Now, that's a different "matter". I have already told my friends that I have the feeling love will find me this year. I just don't know when yet. Maybe soon. I don't even know if I have known him already or will still meet him in the coming days. I miss the feeling of falling in love again. I miss cuddling and kissing and hugging. I miss romance and sweetness. Don't get me wrong, I am not complaining about being single. Subtle flirting with whomever I want has its advantages. Hahaha! I just miss having someone to call "mine". =)
I have time to kill today that's why I'm blogging again. I am about to open a whole new chapter in my life. Wish me luck!
After more than three years, I am finally resigning from the company I am currently working in. This is the longest job I've had so far. I have met and known a lot of people along the way. I have, hopefully, made life-long friendships as well. Now, I have four more days before my so-called tenure is over. A part of me is relieved but anxious, another part is sad and lonely. There is no doubt I am going to miss the people, but I can't wait to get away from the work.
It's tough when there comes a point in my life where I have to choose. Making a life-changing decision is one of the most difficult things I go through, but then again, it's a new year and I know I have a lot to look forward to along the way. It is exciting to face the unknown but scary to go out of my comfort zone. Yes, it feels like I'm being torn in two.
I have always believed that happiness is a choice and goodbyes are not forever. This is such a small world and with willingness, there is a way to still connect and communicate.
Four more days! I am going to make the best out of the remaining days. I just know that I will never forget every experience and every memory I have of the people who mean so much to me.