Monday, November 29, 2004

the real deal

I thought it was just because of my sister's antic that my Ma found disrespectful that's why she did not go with us to watch a movie yesterday. I thought my Ma's pride is ruling her again that's why she has not been speaking to us for the past couple of days. My sis is even attempting to apologize to her but she won't open her door (literally!) Then I learned from my Pa that my Lola (Ma's mother) is very ill right now. I think this is the real and deeper reason why my Ma is not herself lately.

My Lola is 93 years old. She is very weak and the news right now is that she is coughing up blood. My suspect: Pulmonary Tuberculosis. TB is easy to cure especially with meds and proper care. I am just worried that due to financial difficulties in the province and due to her age as well, that a cure won't be a possibility. My mother wanted to go home to the province to see her Ma. That means, no more cellphone for me. She needs the money for her fare and for the meds when she gets there. I am also worried that she may catch TB out there especially with her weak lungs.

I wonder why this always happens whenever I look forward to something wonderful in my life. I was going to make this Christmas one memorable season for us but I guess it's going to be a sad one. Am I cursed? =(

Sunday, November 28, 2004

lazing around

What have I accomplished for the past four days? I just finished two books and I am currently reading Dan Brown's "Angels and Demons". Personaly, I like it than "The Da Vinci Code". As usual, I couldn't seem to put the book down. Symbols, clues, religion and physics make me read, pause then think and use those degenerating brain cells of mine. Can't wait to finish that book!

Thursday night, my family and I went to see "Alexander". It was a bit dragging but I love the portrayals of Angelina Jolie, Anthony Hopkins and surpisingly, Jared Leto. Earlier today, my sis and I watched "National Treasure". My Ma was supposed to watch it with us but it was a long story and hers was I think, a shallow reason why she ended up not watching it with us. Anyways, if I were told before that Dan Brown wrote the story, I would have believed it. Watching the clues and hearing The Masons and Knights of Templar gave me goosebumps. Typical Brown.

They're gonna make a movie out of "The Da Vinci Code". It will be directed by Ron Howard and Tom Hanks will play Robert Langdon when the make "The Da Vinci Code" movie. In my opinion, Hanks, physically, is not Robert Langdon. I see the character more like Hugh Jackman with some wisps of gray hair. Hahaha! Read this article for more inside scoop.

Oh I love these days when I don't worry if I wake up on time for work. I can sleep and stay up any time I want! It's Monday tomorrow and it's back to reality for me. *sigh*

Friday, November 26, 2004

much-needed break

Finally, I was smart enough to follow my instinct and file for leave. I know we didn't have work yesterday because of Thanksgiving (Belated Happy Thanksgiving to all!). Then I'll have this Saturday and Sunday off. Today is one of the best days to skip work.

'Tis my sister's 18th birthday too. I can still remember when I celebrated my "debut". I never wanted a huge party even if we could somehow afford it at that time. I wanted a small celebration with friends and family and that's what I got. Six years later, it's my sister's turn to step into the legal age. Now, she is an adult and all actions and decisions she makes are all her responsibilities. Well, I just wish her all the happiness in the world. It will be tough, but it will be worth it. :)

Last night, our budget allowed the whole family to have dinner outside together. Those are rare times nowadays and I'm quite glad I was hungry enough to enjoy the food too. Hahaha! We watched a movie after that. Slept late but it was well worth it. Hope we could have more of those bonding moments. It's getting more difficult because all three of us "kids" have our "own" lives now-- getting busier with whatever, no time for the parents and all that. Sheesh.

Anyways, got a well-deserved haircut today. I felt lighter and prettier too! Hehehe! Probably my way for preparing for the holidays and all that. I mean, I was invited to an inaugural party next week and I don't wanna look stressed out and ugly (although I feel exactly that). It's going to be a mini-reunion too. I hope there will be no changes in schedules that will make me miss it (NOT!). Hahaha! I am such a bad girl. I guess I am not ready to face those people I met way back in high school. Isn't it weird when most of my batchmates seem to be getting married and having babies nowadays? :p

This is one of the reasons why I can't wait for December to come. A few more days and I can proudly say I will own something valuable bought from my own money-- product of blood and sweat. Hahaha! (Picture taken from Nokia, model Nokia 6610i)


Happy 18th Birthday my dear sister!!!

There may be no 18 candles, no 18 roses from boys, no 18 gifts but I do hope you're happy. I wish you all the best in life because I know you truly deserve it. God bless and best of luck in all your endeavors. Welcome to the adult world, my sister! :)

Monday, November 22, 2004

let it burn

They say absence makes the heart grow fonder. I hope that will be the case. It's been 2 weeks since we last saw each other. Makes me think we're on opposite ends of the planet because of our schedules. Now I learned he'll have a totally different schedule starting today until probably the end of the year. That makes me worry about us not meeting during the holidays and that sucks. Now, we have to make more sacrifices in terms of finding time for each other. I never thought keeping the fire burning will be this challenging.


Spent yesterday with my sister instead. That's one good thing about having a sibling with similar interests as mine. Did some shopping for her school requirements and to top the icing on her birthday cake (birthday on November 26), she finally bought the 9-disc VCD boxed set of Harry Potter plus this Harry Potter bag from Dakki. We got home and watched the third movie (again). Made me think of reading HP books 4 and 5 again, probably after I finish reading Frank McCourt's "'Tis" and Dan Brown's "Angels and Demons". Yeah, finally bought a copy and my brother can't seem to put the book down so I let him read it first.

Can't wait to finally get my 13th month pay! My mother (bless her heart!) told me to buy a new mobile phone for myself before I give the rest of my pay to my parents. Yay! She said she feels sorry for me when she compares me to other yuppies with hi-tech gadgets while I still carry my 3-year old non-colored, "monotonous" mobile. Haha! Since I cannot afford the new (and more expensive) models, I searched for a unit that will be pretty nifty but affordable as well. I still want our Christmas to be special. :)

Saturday, November 20, 2004

Paradoxical Commandments of Leadership

Read a friend's post from this site's messageboard and somehow I can find some answers for the questions I had from my previous entry.

Paradoxical Commandments of Leadership

People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered --- love them anyway.

If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives --- do good anyway.

If you're successful, you'll win false friends and true enemies --- succeed anyway.

The good you do today will perhaps be forgotten tomorrow --- do good anyway.

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable --- be honest and frank anyway.

The biggest man with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest man with the smallest mind --- think big anyway.

People favor underdogs but follow only hot dogs --- fight for a few underdogs anyway.

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight --- build anyway.

People really need help but may attack if you help them --- help them anyway.

Give the world the best that you have and you will get kicked in the teeth --- give the world the best that you have anyway.

If better is possible, then good is not enough.

Thursday, November 18, 2004

on my own

No, this is not about my lovelife. I still am pretty much attached although we only see each other once in a while.

If there are days when I really want to be independent from my family, this is one of those days. I can't plan what I want to do with myself or with my so-called career or with my earnings because I know that I have to consider a lot of opinions first before I finally make a decision. I also notice that most often than not the final decision is not mine.

Why would I settle for something less when I could have more? Why would I be content with what's in front of me when I could still reach farther out? Why would I limit myself to the decisions of others if I am capable of making my own decisions?

That's probably why, at age 24, I am still scared to go out of my boundaries-- my security wall. Anyone care to let me out of here?

Oh and by the way, if there's one person I look up to for her being independent, that would be Ulan. I heard she decided to stop blogging. No more sharing of her thoughts. Yes, I will miss the stories and the pictures. :)

Monday, November 15, 2004

connecting people

There have been some friends whom I have not seen for quite sometime now. Last Friday, my normally silent mobile phone was busy when three of them called me one after the other.

The first call was from a friend I haven't seen since his birthday. We just updated ourselves with our lives. As usual he told me he is swearing off dating, but I bet a thousand bucks that he won't last that long and he'll look for another date in no time. I know him well enough to believe he can't live without someone special. He is planning to buy a car of his own from his own earnings. To think my salary is a bit higher than his, he was able to save up for a new car! Good for him he knows how to save and good for him his own earnings go to his own pockets. *sigh*

The second call came from a friend I knew from the previous company I work with. She was asking if I still work there since she wanted to follow up her clearance. I told her I resigned way back last March. She was calling from Cebu! She has a small business there and she moved back to Cebu last year with her daughter. It was nice to hear from her again. What I couldn't forget was the first question she asked me: Are you married already? Hahaha! I told her no and marriage is a something I don't plan to do in the near future. I am enjoying my life now and I don't want to complicate it by getting married.

The third call was the most surprising of all. After almost three years of no communication, a friend from high school told me I am the godmother of her son and she wants me to go to the inaugural party next month. I was flabbergasted! I can even remember the things we used to do in high school. We used to look for cute guys in the campus. Now, she has a child of her own. She went to the U.S. last year when she got pregnant and bore her child there. Now, they're here and she's asking me for a gift for my godson and she had to remind me her baby is not used to local stuff. Haha! I know they can afford that, but now I have to budget my salary again for the gift. I hope I don't have work that day so I could go. To think I don't have any leave credits left since I filed them all for the latter part of December. We'll see.

It just feels weird and nice at the same time to be "reconnected" to their lives. If people remember me only when they need me, I am still thankful because I am still being remembered.

Super Me!

I think when people around me are stressed out, I get stressed out myself even if I have no reason to. But since I am a bit obsessive-compulsive and a major worry-wart, I always feel stressed. No wonder I often feel ugly and old. After I watched "The Incredibles" a couple of days ago and "X-men 2" in HBO last night, I wished I were a "super". Wouldn't it be cool if I got an anti-stress superpower? Hahaha! As Mr. McCourt would say, fun, fun, fun galore! :)

Friday, November 12, 2004

the Bible in 50 words

This is cool. Just wanna share this with y'all! :)

The Bible in 50 Words!

God made

Adam bit

Noah arked
Abraham split
Joseph ruled
Jacob fooled

Bush talked
Moses balked
Pharaoh plagued
People walked
Sea divided

Tablets guided
Promise landed
Saul freaked
David peeked

Prophets warned
Jesus born

God Walked
Love talked

Anger crucified
Hope died

Love rose
Spirit flamed
Word spread
God remained.


Nah! Narcissism.

It can be useful sometimes. :)

Monday, November 08, 2004

Natural Highs

I got this chain email from a friend. I am not into forwarding forwarded email messages, but I got to think about these feel-good things listed down. I think I need some of these things in my life right now.

1. Falling in love. (Falling over and over is a nice feeling, but it's not that easy to catch for me. It's maintaining love that's a bit tough to do.)
2. Laughing so hard your face hurts. (Haven't done this lately. I forgot when I last did this.)
3. A hot shower. (Yeah, I love hot baths. I always take the time to heat the water up especially these past few days when the weather is getting colder already.)
4. No lines at the supermarket. (Now this one is a rare sight in my part of the world.)
5. A special glance.
6. Getting mail.
7. Taking a drive on a pretty road. (No car yet but I would love to do this.)
8. Hearing your favorite song on the radio. (Now this makes me stop what I'm doing and makes me sing along.)
9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside. (Love this but I never get to do this anymore.)
10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.
11. Chocolate milkshake. (or vanilla or strawberry!)
12. A bubble bath. (Wishin...)
13. Giggling.
14. A good conversation. (True. I miss this.)
15. The beach (Haven't been there for years!)
16. Finding a 20 dollar bill in your coat from last winter.
17. Laughing at yourself. (Hmmm... laughing at a character in a book maybe.)
18. Midnight phone calls that last for hours. (Done this before. It depends who I'm talking to.)
19. Running through sprinklers.
20. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.
21. Having someone tell you that you're beautiful. (Not in front of my face. *sigh*)
22. Laughing at an inside joke. (My friends and I do this! Bad, bad me.)
23. Friends. (who are always there. Thank you! :))
24. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.
25. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep. (Woohoo! This is a great feeling!)
26. Your first kiss (either the very first or with a new partner). (Both in one time. Yum!)
27. Making new friends or spending time with old ones.
28. Playing with a new puppy. (I miss having a pet dog.)
29. Having someone play with your hair.
30. Sweet dreams. (I need these!)
31. Hot chocolate. (on a cold night, yeah!)
32. Road trips with friends. (it's been a while. :()
33. Swinging on swings.
34. Making eye contact with a cute stranger. (as if! hahaha!)
35. Making chocolate chip cookies.
36. Having your friends send you homemade cookies.
37. Holding hands with someone you care about. :)
38. Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or bad) never change. (True!)
39. Watching the expression on someone's face as they open a much desired present from you. (If the expression is enthusiasm, not anxiety. hehehe!)
40. Watching the sunrise. (If only I don't need to go to work...)
41. Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another beautiful day. (correction: every evening and dreading going to work!)
42. Knowing that somebody misses you. :)
43. Getting a hug from someone you care about deeply.
44. Knowing you've done the right thing, no matter what other people think. (yeah, like standing up for myself. :))
45. Knowing you don't have to worry about anything anymore! (Is this possible?)

Now I know what I'm missing.

Sunday, November 07, 2004


I should be saying curses right now to think that this was supposed to be my sixth straight day at work. But then again, I did not go to work for two days this week so it's not much of a deal for me to freeze here in the office after my Saturday shift. That makes only about seven work days for me out of eleven for the payroll cut-off for the 15th and I can just imagine how far I would stretch my budget after payday.

Weird how obsessive-compulsive I could get when it comes to budgeting my pay for the daily expenses. I guess being the family breadwinner for more than three years now plus the fact that school starts again for my sister within a few days, I have to develop this choleric personality from my natural melancholy-phlegmatic one.

I was also asking myself why I had a dream yesterday about this certain Irish singer, who happened to be in my opinion one of the most gorgeous lads alive, and that dream was so comfy and nice I wish I never woke up. Does that mean I need a change in my life right now-- a change that would make my reality not so damn boring that I won't have to long for nice dreams to keep me going?

Friday, November 05, 2004


Back to work tonight. Before I got back to reality, here are some sci-fi and fantasy tidbits I wanna share:

Once upon a time, in a galaxy far, far away...
There was a boy who lived...
With One Ring to rule them all..

I woke up early today to catch the Star Wars Episode III trailer on this local morning TV program. Now, I want to watch "The Incredibles" so I can see the trailer on the big screen. I am so excited! :)

A few days ago, with the help of some HP website, my sister opened the door in J.K. Rowling's website, revealing more spoilers from HP Book 6 for those ever-craving Harry Potter fans.


Three chapter titles were revealed:

Chapter 2 - Spinners End
Chapter 6 - Draco's Detour
Chapter 14 - Felix Felicis

To quote a friend, "On with the speculations!"

There are several reasons why I can't wait for the LOTR:ROTK DVD (extended edition) to be released. Though I do not have a DVD player, I am going to do my best to watch it. I'll get to watch Saruman's "death" and of course, how Eowyn and Faramir fell in love in the Houses of Healing. But most of all, I don't wanna miss this!

Drool on, fangirls! :)

Wednesday, November 03, 2004

down with the flu

Pardon my absence but I've been sick for the past few days. I almost lost my voice and I have the cough and sniffles. If only I can insure my vocal chords since I use it to earn a living. Hehe! Will be going to the doctor tomorrow since I've been absent from work for a couple of days. This sucks!

I learned Pop Myx will show some footages from "The Return of Mos Eisley Night" tomorrow, November 4, 12NN. I'll get to see it though! :)

Oh, and 52 days before Christmas. That was fast. :p