Saturday, January 29, 2005

Neil Gaiman!

He's coming! Oh I do hope he is! If that happens, he'll be the first ever foreign writer who will be able to sign my books and I am so looking forward to it! Compared to some of the friends who are his fans, I am a "new" fan. I don't have a huge collection of his books (I got only five of his books). I haven't even read his "Sandman" mag, but I like his style of writing-- mysterious, dark fantasy.

If you check our his online journal, you'll get to read through this:

Incidentally, I'm trying to organise (well, I'm not actually doing the organising) the promised signings in the Philippines and Singapore before or after the Melbourne convention and Australian book signings this summer. The signing in the Philippines looks like it's happening, but I'm not sure about the Singapore one, as originally I was going be brought in with Dave McKean by the British Council, a plan that was scuppered by MirrorMask, and now I'm not really sure who to talk to. (If anyone in Singapore has any bright ideas, feel free to let me know.)

*jumps with glee*

Okay, let's keep our fingers crossed. =)

Thursday, January 27, 2005

Monday, January 24, 2005


No, I'm not learning how to base jump if that's what you think. I wish my life was that exciting.

There's nothing new about my life on this side of the world. As expected, I would still have to face this crappy schedule at work this week. I dunno how I could last. I just made sure I rested well this weekend.

Did I mention that about two nights ago I had a dream about Orlando Bloom and when I woke up I was crying? I don't want to expound on this a bit. Just think unrequited love. I know I admire Orlando Bloom and all but I don't think I'll dry my tearducts for him. I was thinking if I only have a Dream Oracle (is Prof. Trelawny around? Hehe!), I bet he might symbolize somthing else-- career maybe?

Friday morning, my friends and I went to a couple of callcenters in the Makati area hoping to find a better alternative to what we have right now. As of the moment, I have not made any decisions yet. This may sound familiar but like before, I am waiting for a sign-- something that will trigger my making a decision without looking back. Yeah, like comparing it to decide whether to jump off a cliff or not. I can let one foot hang on and let the other one dangle, right? (Like that picture above.)

I also realized that the company's accounting department is more stupid than what I expected when we dropped by the local BIR and we got a good explanation of how our income taxes should be calculated and wow, does that company owe me money for my tax overpayment! This is another issue I want to clear up with them.

I am just waiting for that mighty voice commanding me to jump. Right now, I'm taking this one day at a time within my safety zone.

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

closing time

I'm stuck in this physically-tiring, mentally-draining shift at work-- 2AM until 12NN. I hope and pray that this will only be for a few days...

Closing time - open all the doors and let you out into the world.

This schedule sucks. If this won't change by the end of the month, I'd go ballistic.

Closing time - every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end.

I fear what may come next. I have to get out of here.

***"Closing Time" by Semisonic

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

Shifting Sand

This song's been playing in my head the whole day. The lyrics best describe what I feel right now.

Shifting Sand ~ Caedmon's Call

Sometimes I believe all the lies
So I can do the things I should despise
And every day I am swayed
By whatever is on my mind

I hear it all depends on my faith
So I'm feeling precarious
The only problem I have with these mysteries
Is they're so mysterious

And like a consumer I've been thinking
If I could just get a bit more
More than my 15 minutes of faith,
Then I'd be secure

My faith is like shifting sand
Changed by every wave
My faith is like shifting sand
So I stand on grace

I've begged you for some proof
For my Thomas eyes to see
A slithering staff, a leprous hand
And lions resting lazily

A glimpse of your back-side glory
And this soaked altar going ablaze
But you know I've seen so much
I explained it away

Waters rose as my doubts reigned
My sand-castle faith, it slipped away
Found myself standing on your grace
It'd been there all the time

Sunday, January 16, 2005

hanging in there

This week drained a lot of my energy.

I've ignored some of the things happening at work, but when it comes to money matters, I don't want other people to stomp on me especially when I am trying my best to work in a job I don't even consider a career.

The politics I can live with since I've been through that with the previous company. I've also come to accept that the HR is one of the worst I've worked with. I've also gotten used to disputes in payroll every pay period. (Yeah, almost everytime I get my payslip, I dispute a mistake in accounting.) Then there are promises they can't keep. Then the sudden, inconsiderate changes in schedules. Lately was the tax exemption. It was clear that during training, I filed for head of the family with one dependent. I've often wondered why my taxes are always that huge. Then I learned that they placed me in the single tax exemption. (For those not familiar with taxes, just imagine at least PhP13,000 of what I earned this past year will never be given back to me because of their mistake.)

I rant but I rant because I have a reason to. I earned that, fair and square. It's my money. It's them who's not doing their job. Then I learned that these people are actually not accepting criticisms. (I mean, how can they improve if they don't wanna accept that they're making mistakes, right?) If they hear me complain, they'll make life more miserable for me.

It's some sort of a deja vu. I'm tempted to get out of here. You'll probably think I'm repeating what I did last year. Maybe. But I was never sorry I made that decision. Maybe it's just tough to last in a job that I don't wanna do.

So, I've told my Ma that I'm willing to sacrifice a few more years working in a callcenter until my sister graduates, gets a job and helps with the finances. That's approximately three more years of my life. After that, I told her, I will do what I want to do. I will work as a PT if I still want to. I will go back to school if I want to. I will find my true career.

But at that time, I'll be almost thirty. So, what happened to almost 30 years of my life?

A few weeks from now, I'll probably be in another office environment. I won't make hasty decisions if I don't have a Plan B. I'll have to find a work offering a higher pay and better benefits. I don't care. I have a goal to achieve. I'll probably be wasting my time right now, but then again, I've tried, but fate has its way of putting me in this position. So, I'll just have to hang in here for a moment, until it allows me to go to somewhere I'm meant to be.

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

I act my age (almost!)

You Are 25 Years Old


Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.

13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.

20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!

40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

I need Prosperity

Based on this test, I'm already using 27 of 39 critical feng shui techniques. And the area of my life benefiting most from the flow of my feng shui energy is what's known as Wisdom.

This is the area of life that involves being able to tap into your own inner wisdom, having the strength to take on challenges and difficult tasks, doing well academically, and making good decisions. There are many variables that can enhance your wisdom feng shui. One thing you already have going for you is that you keep your home well-lit.

While you have some good feng shui, your test answers reveal your energy is most blocked in the area practitioners call prosperity. Blocked energy in this area can prevent you from earning a stable income, finding income from unexpected channels, and from being happy with what you have.

I knew it! No wonder I'm always broke. Hehehe!

Saturday, January 08, 2005


How can one feel lonely in the middle of a crowd? How can one feel lost in a world turning in one direction? It's one of those days when I feel empty and confused. It's not even my 25th birthday yet I'm having a "kind of" quarter-life crisis.

Or am I just thinking too much?

Friday, January 07, 2005

remembering friends

I had some spare time at work today. It was not as busy as it usually is. Went through some friends' profiles in what Lifey calls "the accursed site". While browsing through this newly-revamped site, I got to think how time has the power to change people and yet, I was still able to see something familiar in their personalities. Familiar in the sense that I can remember and relate each friend's personality to a special memory-- something significant in my life that's worth remembering.

I thought of how we were before during high school or college. Or probably how we got to know each other and found things in common that made us click. Or how we faced challenges together. Judging from the pictures, I know their faces may not be exactly the same as those I have etched in my memory. Judging from the profiles, I know some have altered their personas and their interests. Some may be far from me now and God knows when or if I will get to see them again.

I was asking, does their memory show me as the exact same person they knew before? Will they be surprised if after all these years, I meet them again and they'll realize I've changed somehow? Will the friendship remain the same? Do they remember the moments we had together? Can they say that somehow I had made a mark... an influence or something in their lives?

I don't know where I'm getting at with this entry. I don't even know if I was able to express myself clearly. But this I do know, that I am grateful for these friends and for having the chance to know them in my lifetime. They will be treasured and will always be remembered.

Thursday, January 06, 2005

animal magnetism

Never thought I have one. Got this migraine going on but since I am taking advantage of the free speedy internet I can avail due to my work schedule changes, here's a quiz to show how animalistic I can get. ;)

What's Your Animal Magnetism?

You're a Puffin in the wild world of love.

Aww, you sweet Puffin. You probably fall on the more traditional side of the relationship spectrum. Mating to you is more about expressing your feelings and being in love than having a frisky frolic on an island with someone you've just met. You probably take a cue from your puffin counterparts in the wild who are monogamous and keep the same mate for life.

You won't be serving many pick-up lines on your menu for romance. But that's not to say that you aren't colorful and playful. You're just more cuddly-sweet than come-hither. You probably would swim the seven seas in search of your soul mate. Once the search is over and you've found that special someone, you're the type to settle into romantic bliss — for good. Your loyalty and devotion are unquestionable. And canoodling with your mate is one of the richest rewards in life to people like you. Essentially, what it comes down to is this: When you find the right one, bye, bye, birdie! You'll be off the market for good.

Wednesday, January 05, 2005

body clock shock

Imagine being told that you have to work from 2AM until 11AM ASAP. Imagine how you could commute alone at that time since you don't have a car and you happen to be a female who could attract some bad souls out there. Imagine ending your work shift at 11AM when the sun is shining at its best and you just came from a freezing hellhole (what a contrast! Didn't think that was possible). Imagine how your head would ache. How could you get rid of a cold that has been bugging you for more than a week now? Imagine your body clock go through all that when it is used to a 9PM-6AM shift for the past 6 months?

Just imagine.

I don't need to. Coz I'll go through that a few hours from now. What a way to start the year. Wish me luck!

Monday, January 03, 2005

A toast to "The Professor"

Prof. JRR Tolkien
(born 3 January 1892)

Life will not be a fantastic journey without your stories.
Thank you, dear Professor!

Place your toast for "the Professor" here.

Since we are discussing birthdays, I just wanna say:

Happy Birthday, Lifey!

Sunday, January 02, 2005

new year, new beginnings

I did not go to any parties during New Year's eve. It was okay. Being at home was fine. My stomach was still full and I still had fun with my family. Plus the view from our street was cool. Love seeing those fireworks! I'm glad I did not spend the beginning of 2005 at work. Wish I had better pics to show but I hope these would suffice.

taken using Nokia 6610i

taken using Nokia 6610i

Year-ender survey: (also posted in this site)

1. What did you do in 2004 that you've never done before?
- I can think of two things right now: pass a resignation paper and watch the ROTK EE ;)

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
- I'm not into making new year's resolutions.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
- yes, Michelle, a high school friend

4. Did anyone close to you die?
- no. thank God.

5. What countries did you visit?
- wish! maybe this year. =p

6. What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004?
- a signed contract as a PT in the US

7. What date from 2004 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
- March 11, 2004. our first year together.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
- getting a job that pays higher than the previous one! =p

9. What was your biggest failure?
- not applying for FCCPT :(

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
- yeah. was confined for 3 days because of that.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
- my cellphone! :)

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
- my sister. for continuing to face the "challenges" of college life! ;)

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
- no one in particular.

14. Where did most of your money go?
- bills, bills, bills! oh and some books. =p

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
- my vacation leave from work

16. What song will always remind you of 2004?
- "if i aint got you" by usher and alicia keys, "burn" by usher

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? -- happier
ii. thinner or fatter? fatter =,(
iii. richer or poorer? richer (wish!)

18. What do you wish you'd done more
- engage in fun activities

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
- focus in work

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
- spent it already. at home. with my family. =)

21. Did you fall in love in 2004?
- yes. i've always had since 2003. =)

22. How many one-night stands?
- none

23. What was your favorite TV program?
- (programs) sex and the city, csi, hey arnold!, spongebob squarepants and as told by ginger =)

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
-none really

25. What was the best book you read?
- "angels and demons" by dan brown

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
- LOTR symphony! ahhh... heaven! =)

27. What did you want and get?
- a new phone!

28. What was your favorite film of this year?
- LOTR:ROTK (answered by a true biased fanatic)

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
- turned 24. spent it at work. such a bore.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
- getting a US working/immigrant visa =p

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004?
- simply me.

32. What kept you sane?
- my family

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
- orlando bloom!

34. What political issue stirred you the most?
- national elections

35. Who did you miss?
- my college barkada

36. Who was the best new person you met?
- Ayn Dagny! =)

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2004:
- "Waiting was a sin against both the time that was still to come and the moments one was currently disregarding".

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
- "Cause what goes around, comes around... What goes up, must come down..." -karma, alicia keys

*Color of most clothes you own
= blue

*Number of pillows you sleep with
= four plus two more throw pillows

*What room are you in right now?
=living room

*What were you doing 12AM last night?
= taking calls at work

*How old will you be in 10 yrs?
= 34

*What do you think you'll be doing in 10 years?
= leaving my mark in this world

*Are you paranoid?
= always