Monday, April 28, 2008


The past few weeks have been difficult for me when it comes to emotional matters. I blame my sensitive nature for that. I have been torn whether I should continue feeling this way or letting go and moving on. Lord knows how hard I tried to convince myself, and even some of my closest friends, to finally make a decision. After weighing the pros and cons, would I be totally honest to myself and to whoever is involved and risk (bad) judgment and misunderstanding?

I don’t want to make a big deal out of it but I can’t deny the fact that the “issue” at hand (or whatever it is that I am trying not to feel) has been on the back of my mind for some time now. The sad thing is it’s been creeping in and out of my subconscious like a nightmare or a fairy tale waiting to happen.

Maybe the changes that will occur in a few days are just some of the signs being thrown my way. Nothing’s in it for me. I have to look in another direction to fill that void. I don’t want to misinterpret actions and assume conclusions. That’s stupid. But then sometimes, when the heart gains control, the brain seems to cease functioning.

Maybe after a few years, I will read this and laugh at myself for feeling this way. Time has that quality of diminishing the so-called importance of some events in life. It really is tough if one’s mind says one thing and the heart says another. If I choose either decision, will I be able to live and have no regrets?

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