I had only four hours of sleep earlier but spending time with him instead was well worth it. I never thought I missed him a lot until I saw him. Three hours worth of talk over brunch was not enough. I'm hoping to spend more time with him 'coz I don't want to end up singing Avril's "Why" (Are you and me still together? Tell me!). But I know it's going to be tough since he would be busy with his job hunting starting next week. I wish him luck though.

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I got this irritation in my left eye. The nurse said it was an infection. It's not sore eyes or anything contagious but I stopped wearing my contact lenses for two days now. So, if you see me squinting every now and then, it's just me seeing blurry images from afar. I'm near-sighted (like all my family members).

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Jesse Bradford

Got home tired and my father gave me this postcard. It was from Jesse Bradford. Well, I don't think it personally came from Jesse. The return address is his fan club address. But honestly, I cannot remember if I wrote him a letter before or checked out his site... I really don't know. But my name and address were correct. I wonder how they got those info. Anyways, I like the guy a lot. Saw some of his movies when he was a kid and I knew that he'd turn out ot be a gorgeous lad. He's not active in making movies but he is in theater. But the coolest part of it was he personally wrote my name on the postcard (with his black and white photo), wrote a dedication, drew a heart and signed it using a silver pen.

*teeny bopper me on the loose!!!*


Jesse Bradford postcard

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Thank God it's Friday.

Memories

I still continued with the "keeping myself busy" scheme. So what I did today was dig up my old diaries, comprised of three unused and covered notebooks, which contained my life's memories from August of 1992 until March of 1996. The cover has "Secret. For my eyes only" written over it. Hahaha! Very conspicuous!

It was like traveling through time. I can see the change of my handwriting depending on my age and my moods. I realized I "fell in love" hundreds of times before. I also noticed through those years that I have just three wishes in life: (1) to be rich; (2) to lose weight; (3) to be loved in return. I think the first and second wishes, I have yet to fulfill those. But the third wish, I think I know how that feels now. I noticed that I had strong faith in God during those moments in my life--- moments I considered my lowest point in terms of family problems. I called them "The Dark Ages". Hehe! I realized I made a lot of friends and fought with some of them. I also noticed that I really was concerned about getting the first honors in high school just to please my parents and just so they won't break up. I was worried then that I would be a product of a broken home. Imagine how my parents must have felt when I didn't become valedictorian on my fourth and last year. But I'm glad my family is still together until now.

I really am pathetic when it comes to infatuation. I thought every crush I had is the love of my life! I think it's congenital. Blame it on the genes. Hahaha! I wonder what's going on with the lives of these people now. I also got to read my graduation notebook. It's where I kept the messages my batchmates wrote for me just before graduation.

I also found a birthday card made for me by my sister during my 12th birthday. She was six years old then. I laughed and showed it to my bro and parents. They were all teasing her about it especially when she handwrote the lines "I love you all day and also night". It's cute!


The card my sister created for me. Dated July 10, 1993.

I stopped writing on a diary when I started college. I thought it was childish. But since it's a technology-driven world, I found myself blogging over a year ago. So, I guess it isn't childish after all. It's still considered a diary. But this time, it's not secret anymore. Or is it?

Spot the Difference

During times when I feel sad, I keep myself busy so I won't spend my time crying and listening to sappy love songs. So, I made some changes in my blog. If you look at the right side of your screen, you can see there several minute changes. You may not have noticed them if I had not pointed them out.

Thanks to you for the buttons and for the HTML tips (for the sort-of informal HTML tutorial).

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"Why"
~Avril Lavigne~
Why, do you always do this to me?
Why, couldn't you just see through me?
How come, you act like this
Like you just don't care at all

Do you expect me to believe I was the only one to fall?
I could feel I could feel you near me, even though you're far away
I could feel I could feel you baby, why

It's not supposed to feel this way
I need you, I need you
More and more each day
It's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you, I need you, I need you
Tell me, are you and me still together?
Tell me, do you think we could last forever?
Tell me, why

Hey, listen to what we're not saying
Let's play, a different game than what we're playing
Try, to look at me and really see my heart

Do you expect me to believe I'm gonna let us fall apart?
I could feel I could feel you near me, even when you're far away
I could feel I could feel you baby, why

It's not supposed to feel this way
I need you, I need you
More and more each day
It's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you, I need you, I need you
Tell me, are you and me still together?
Tell me, you think we could last forever?
Tell me, why

So go and think about whatever you need to think about
Go ahead and dream about whatever you need to dream about
And come back to me when you know just how you feel, you feel
I could feel I could feel you near me, even though you're far away
I could feel I could feel you baby, why

It's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you, I need you
More and more each day
It's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you, I need you, I need you
Tell me

It's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you, I need you
More and more each day
It's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you, I need you, I need you
Tell me, are you and me still together?
Tell me, do you think we could last forever?
Tell me, why

I went to the bookstore earlier and I realized that I've been missing a lot of stuff lately. There are a lot of great books out there! New books from Paulo Coelho, Anne Rice and Nicholas Sparks! *drool* The main reason why I was browsing for some books was that I wanted to get a birthday present for my sis. Her birthday would be on the 26th, but she was feeling crappy last weekend. I told her I'd pay for her F4 tickets (she's been dreaming of meeting Vic Zhou), but despite that, my mom would not allow her since she went to the last concert (wherein Vic Zhou did not perform). Then we saw dozens of Eoin Colfer's "The Eternity Code" (book three of Artemis Fowl) and she said that book would be a nice gift instead. So, I'm saving up for it.

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I went to work earlier and noticed that some of the homes on our street already have glittering Christmas lights on their windows. Time flies by so fast...

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He thinks I'm mad that's why he is worried. Am I? Maybe I am. I mean, I was lucky if he sent me at least three messages a day. I don't think he missed me as much as I missed him. Quite unexpectedly, he already arrived in Manila from the province. I dunno when I'll be seeing him. Am I looking forward to meeting him? I'm not sure. I was hurt. I'm not making plans. I'll let him formulate a plan for a change.

It is not a great feeling when you always remember or think of someone, but that someone seldom or never remembers or thinks of you.