*sigh* My bestfriend, Laurice, left for Chicago today. She's staying there for good. Honestly, this is the first time I woke up early without feeling tired or craving for sleep. I am tired, yes, but I feel empty inside. I am sad. We last saw each other two days ago, after spending a fun night over at her house with my other close friends, Joy and Joan. We drank pomelo gin, ate pizza, watched anime and LOTR, ate junk food. We laughed, hugged and talked and cried. I left her with tears falling from my eyes. It just goes to show how inevitable and unpredictable our future is.

I also got to meet DJ, a long-time textmate. He was asking if he could court me. I dunno the answer to that right now. Since I think my mind is kinda confused. Aside from the fact that I'm busy... and there's this other issue with Cris... It's kinda complicated right now. I could just sum it up in a question form...

It's sad when you love someone who can't love you back. But it's sadder when someone loves you but you cannot seem to reciprocate that love.

Why? Pride? Guilt? I really dunno.

I have to sort out my life right now. Glad I have a job and a business to keep me busy. I'm missing my friend right now that's why I have to pour out my emotions first. My tears flowed last night and this morning. Laurice was one reason, Cris was another. He's always on the verge of tears (if not crying) whenever we talk about this situation (weird set-up) we have now. To top it off, he's the first guy to ever tell me he loves me. So, I dunno how to react to that.

I guess I have to take it one step at a time. Follow my advice to Laurice. Missing you girl!