This is the last entry today. I dunno what's wrong with this day, I have to put this down again in my blog before I go to speak my mind to my friend.

Remember Cris? Yeah, that guy who made me cry last night, made me cry again today. No, he didn't hurt me. Actually, I hurt him. I don't think it was my fault if he fell for me. I just felt guilty since I know I cannot love him as much as he deserves. That guilt brought me to tears. I know I am selfish too coz I believe I'm gonna miss all the sweet things he has done for me. Yes, for the record, he's the first guy to tell me he loves me (whether true or not, I really don't care). But I can feel his sincerity coz I would know if he wasn't sincere, I wouldn't have cried.

We've kept in touch for more than three months already. He wanted a relationship for real but I can't seem to say "Yes". I dunno if I'm afraid to love or I'm not ready for a relationship. Maybe the fact that he wasn't the guy I expected to be or he is 9 years older than me or he is an exact opposite of my personality... I really dunno.

I have to talk with Joy. I feel so sad and crumpled and hollow inside. I was able to write the short story I promised to give him in in 2 hours!!! It was just 5 pages but I dunno what gave me the inspiration to finish it.

Now, I'm confused.

Follow your heart.