Crossroads

Another friend and colleague of mine left the country today, in search for greener pastures in a foreign land. I don't know when or if I will ever see her again. I just know I miss her as I think of all the days we spent together before and all the things we've been through. I miss my school days and all the people who made them more meaningful.

I haven't seen her or talked to her in years. I felt sad and a bit empty. One part of me wants to do double-time in applying for job positions abroad. That's my adventurous part. Another part wants to keep what I have now. That part is scared of changes and does not want to be alone and be apart from my loved-ones.

I really can't explain how I felt. It's like getting old. When all my friends and loved-ones are dead and I'm the only one left alive. In that situation, a part of me wants to die, but another part is scared of dying.

I'm still going on with my journey, hurrying through the path and searching for crossroads. Hoping that I am meant to take another path in life--- a better one.

As I was thinking of this earlier, I cried. I don't know why. Mithrandir said, "Not all tears are evil." So I let it be.