The first day after reality slapped me in the face-- I was just a meantime girl.
Where do I begin? I am not sure where I should start. I woke up feeling very little, very vulnerable and very sad, yet I could not cry. I just wanted everything to stop. I wanted to disappear.
I went through my usual morning routine. I took a shower without shedding a tear. I can feel the heaviness in my chest. I wanted to shout, to break things, to get a proper explanation. I lost my grip on reality and my mind was trying to make things okay again. I was looking for a rationale. Why? Why did he do this to me? Why did he have to lie about it? Why am I not enough?
Alas, these will be added mysteries to my life story. I don't expect him to give me a proper explanation. He is a coward. He cannot own up to the hurt he caused. He is untrustworthy. It will all be pointless.
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