why not?

My mother has been bothering me (again) about applying for that FCCPT thingie! I don't understand why she has to force me to be a PT and work abroad. It has been years of waiting and dozens of applications and interviews with different placement agencies.

Reasons why I don't want to pursue the application right now:



• We cannot afford to start processing the credentialing and visa screening. The fees are even in friggin' US dollars!
  
  
• No one (not even relatives) bothers and will bother to cover the expenses or sponsor me to go there. (Oh yes, I have tried, and failed several times. Not even with my puppy-dog eyes). =)
  
  
• My PRC license, TOEFL and TSE are ALL expired. More $$ to pay for the fees in order to retake the exams.
  
  
• I have earned my license for three years now and never practiced my profession since I have only an option to volunteer and as a breadwinner, I have to earn money. Most openings abroad need therapists with work experiences.
  

So, what does she want me to do?! Argh!!! If fate does not give me that opportunity, why force myself on it? Might as well move on with my life.


*breathes deeply*


I got home yesterday a few minutes before 10 AM. It was raining as usual. It has been for more than a week now. I feel thankful for the rain, at least it makes sleeping during the day more relaxing... more normal. I remember taking off my shoes and donning my slippers. Then I remember lying down the bed and closing my eyes to rest them for a minute or two. The next thing I know, it's 4:30PM and my body felt icky. I needed a bath. I fell asleep with my work clothes on and even my slippers on. (I had my feet dangling on the side of the bed.) Then my stomach grumbled. I was hungry. I went downstairs and did my usual routine-- the one I'm supposed to do at about 10 in the morning. After a couple of hours, I forgot about the internet and the prime time TV program I wanted to watch and stole two more hours of sleep.


If that's not exhaustion. I don't know what that is. And they say life is easy. Hah.


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~


Wake Me Up When September Ends
*Green Day*


Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
Wake me up when september ends
Like my fathers come to pass
Seven years has gone so fast
Wake me up when september ends


Here comes the rain again
Falling from the stars
Drenched in my pain again
Becoming who we are


As my memory rests
But never forgets what I lost
Wake me up when september ends
Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
Wake me up when september ends


Ring out the bells again
Like we did when spring began
Wake me up when september ends
...