Tuesday, December 13, 2005


I had dinner with about 10 of my relatives last night courtesy of my other second cousin in New York. That was a united celebration for 5 people who are celebrating their birthdays this month (including my Ma on the 18th). That's the reason why I had only 30 minutes sleep before I went to work. They even got to talk about me (about me!) while I was there amidst their company as if I were a 3-year old kid with no idea about the topic of the conversation! Have you ever experienced that before? You know, being discussed by people while you're there? What if the topic they're discussing about is your insecurity since childhood? How would you feel?

I nearly cried right then and there. I'm thankful I have this cell phone I can focus my attention on while everyone is commenting on my mother's stories about me and my insecure childhood. Doesn't she know that, until now, I am still insecure? She wanted to separate me from my "security blanket" when I was 5. She doesn't know that until now, I still have a "security blanket" of my own. I probably need a shrink.

The fact that they were asleep on my bed last night doesn't make me feel any better. I had to rent a PC right after shift without even bothering with how tired I am, how my eyes hurt and how hungry I am. I just don't wanna stay at home while they're there. Everything seems so airy and proud and so... phony. One more night to endure and they're gone and back to their lives. I wish it was Friday already.

She knows she doesn't deserve all that. I believe in Karma, what you give is what you get returned...

At least one person made me smile during dinner last night:

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my nephew with his lola
Vincent Ian Pedres at 8 months
check out this album during his baptismal

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