As Usual
Warning: Rants ahead

Earlier today I was contemplating on posting a rare entry in this blog. (I am aware that this blog is full of angst most of the time. Writing is my outlet-- it's how I let go of my feelings.) Rare in the sense that I want to express how I felt happy in the past couple of days. Despite the fact that I am getting tired of work (and it shows on the number of times I arrived late), I am still grateful of the presence of my family who loves me unconditionally. Plus the fact that I have friends out there (although I am not seeing them often) who still cares. And of course a special person who loves me in spite of my imperfections.

However, before I got to work, I realized that again, what I wanted could not happen. He is going to leave for the province and the next time I'll see him would be in November. That's why I was deciding to meet him tomorrow after work. Of course, I have to be home before dark since my parents would be worried. But he has to run an errand tomorrow morning. Then I just realized that another fact of life slapped me in the face: "You can't get everything you want."

I just remembered a line from one of my favorite books which goes something like "If you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you achieve it" (Paulo Coelho's "The Alchemist"). But I don't think this was reason enough to be bitchy. You see, I got irritated with my father before I left home, since I was in a foul mood at that time, I just snapped at him. It was not his fault, I know. That's why I'm so mad at myself I cried on my way to work. I feel so rotten.