His Past

Life is ironic. Like when you ask for it to bring you something, it doesn't give you the exact package that you want. Maybe it just wanted to teach you something that you should learn the hard way.

For example, after living a "loveless" existence, all I wanted is to meet someone who will love me with all his heart. Then I meet someone who shows me, tells me and makes me feel that he does, but it just so happens that because of his past, he cannot give his entire heart to me. Like I mentioned before, I can be selfish at times and again, this is one of those times. If I love him without any conditions, I would learn to accept him including his past. But what if his past would consist of having someone to share the love that he has to give?

I would be a hypocrite if I say it does not affect me. It does, sensitive person that I am. But then I cannot do anything about it. Without that past, he's not the person I know now. I don't want him to choose. Maybe because I know that if I made him choose between his past and me, he will NOT choose me. His past will always be a part of his present and his future whatever happens... even if I am already a part of his present.

I don't wanna run away but I can't take it I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?
~Daniel Bedingfield, "If You're Not the One"