I am stuck. Stagnant. Facing my quarter life crisis three years earlier than expected.

Glad I attended the BBS today. Met Allan Benjamin, an Emerald from Malaysia and Norman Leonard, a Double Diamond, husband of Glenda who spoke two WES ago, from Australia.

But I am feeling sick again since it's raining so hard and my lymph nodes are tender. I can feel another virus attack in my system. I think I need daily supplements to boost my immune system.

I thought my meeting with John went well... until we talked later than night. To cut the story short, he was not worth it. He was pressuring me of telling him I love him too. Actually, I just needed more time. I mean, hello? We just met. He made the mistake of comparing me to other girls he was with and thinking that all his tactics will work like before. But I'm not like them. Another lesson learned. Being open to someone has its disadvantages too. He pointed out all my flaws-- telling me if I continue being "unreachable", I will never meet someone who will understand me and eventually, fall in love with me. Ok fine.

Since I am the sensitive type, his "bombarding" me with all my flaws made me sniff a bit, thinking I am the one with the problem. But after talking to some friends, I learned that they understand me. That means he was the problem, not me.

I don't think my personality was the problem too. I know I have this world-- this shell-- around me and it's difficult for others to penetrate it. Actually, he was beginning to pry open my shell and I was letting him! Then he blew the chance by telling me he doesn't understand me and I snapped my shell shut again. Maybe it was not the right time. Maybe he was not the right guy. He was too aggressive for me. Not stable at all. Not my type. :)

James chickened out. What a sissy. He agreed to meet with me. I was with a couple of friends. Then he sent me an SMS and told me he saw me and he's happy. Then he did NOT introduce himself. He just kept running away from us. One way. Not fair. I was pissed off. But what the heck.

I had a henna tattoo done over my right wrist. An outlet of all the challenges I'm facing right now. It's temporary. It will fade after two weeks. That will remind me that these challenges are also temporary. *cross fingers*