Wednesday, February 12, 2003

Lost and not yet found

I just woke up from a six-hour slumber. My day is just starting even if Wednesday is already ending in the real world. I have yet to convince my system that this is my reality. I basically end my day as people wake up and go to their respective works and schools. This sucks big time.

Say goodbye to social life, a friend told me. I know that for a fact right now. Plus my body clock and rhythm are lost in their own world too. I skip breakfast and lunch. Then I wake up eating a sandwich. After a few hours, eat dinner, then at two in the morning, eat another sandwich. I hope I lose weight this way. I'm just praying now that I'll still be alive as I get my pay at the end of the week.


A lot of my batchmates are thinking about quitting. I am thinking of my options too. But as of the moment, I don't think I have that choice. Actually, I am just listening to that voice inside me (I'm NOT a psycho, or at least I know I am not) to tell me it's enough. I'm still giving myself time to adjust. I see it in two ways: one, I wait 'til I know I have exhausted everything I've got and I'll just give up; two, I'll maximize my stay and learn as much as I can with this type of job. But in the end, I still long for patients instead of clients.

If anyone wants to kill someone right now, you may contact me. I need someone even for euthanasia (mercy killing) purposes only.


D'Arvit! ( a bad word in People language. I just finished reading Eoin Colfer's "Artemis Fowl".)

maybe someday my dreams will be complete
and we both will know what it would have been
but you've got to promise me you won't accept defeat
that you'll run this race until we meet again
that you'll run this race until we reach the end

~Stephen Speaks, "Never Knew"

No comments: