Friday, October 18, 2002

Guess what? I'm with Joan surfing since it's really raining hard! Um, not surfing on the flood of Metro Manila... Hahaha! But we were supposed to watch a movie. Since it's Midnight Madness sale and with the bombing threats and everything, we decided against watching a flick and freezing our butts off in the moviehouse.

I had an absolutely fabulous afternoon and evening yesterday. I think you know what I mean... :)

To sum it up, I thought of another song. I think I'm making this a "singing blog", but then, what the heck!

Why – why are we still friends
When everything says
We should be more than we are
And tell me why every time I find
Someone that I like
We always end up just being friends

~"Why (Are We Still Friends)" by 98 Degrees

Did I tell you that small gentlemanly actions really turn me on? Or sweet gestures such as paying for my food and coffee make me feel special?

He was interested in knowing my dreams as he "forced" me to let him see my dreambook. That was sweet! But since the dreambook comes with introducing him to the business, I did and I was suprised with his reaction-- he was more excited than me when I first saw the business! Oh well, When the student is ready, the teacher appears. Although my showing him the concept was a major boo-boo. I was stuttering and my hands were shaking. Darn. It was the worst STP I've ever done! I think if I were him at that time, I will not understand any word I said. But then he just gave me more than 2% of his trust and his oh-so-preciousssss time. I'm glad. Although I will want him to concentrate on the board exams. I can volunteer to review him if he wants... *wink!*

Why do I feel like a high school kid again having this silly crush on someone? Plus the fact that I've got a small zit between my brows and I can't sleep well. I can't remember when I last hyperventilated with my heart palpitating (no, make that fibrillating ! LOL!) a few moments before I met him. I felt so excited, it's like discovering the inner kid in me again, who was just waiting to get out! I am referring to what I feel as of the moment because of both W and the business. I'm in a natural high state, I didn't even take my daily dose of caffeine today. :)

Although I think I "lost" another special friend today (Remember R?), in the sense that I decided not to include myself in his life anymore. I just don't want to be concerned and all that and still, he won't listen. It's his life anyways. I think I lost a friend and former crush today, but I will never run out of friends and crushes. That, I'm quite sure. :)

I'm excited with the Weekend Seminar! I hope I can sleep tonight. I also think this was a great idea for me to introduce W to the business, since I'll be seeing more of him and talking to him too. But you know, there's this nagging feeling behind my head... creepy. Is it just me or is a friend interested in him as well? I just can't explain it right now but I think I'm gonna bury it there as of the moment.

"Forget about him, ok? He likes you only as a friend so don't expect anything more. You've been there before... You know how it felt... how badly it hurt..."
~my "other self" is saying this to me. I know I am a schizophrenic. :)

But what the heck, we have to take risks right?

We'll see...

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