Wednesday, March 19, 2003


"Memory was a curse... but it was also the greatest gift.
Because if you lost memory you lost everything."

~"Blood and Gold" by Anne Rice

Would you believe it if I say every moment spent with you is a moment I'll never forget?

Maybe we have the ability to pre-select things we want to remember or we want to forget. Like when I can vividly remember a song I sang to my seatmate in highschool and she has no idea it happened. On her part, maybe she chose to forget that moment. That's why when I brought it up the last time we saw each other, she cannot remember it at all. I recall we were both singing and laughing then coz she cannot carry a tune. But she loved the song and she told me I'm the only person who can listen to her without me laughing in front of her face. Now, whenever I hear that song, I remember her. Some sort of deja vu but not for the sight. I think there is another term for the smell but I forgot... deja nos? How about a term for the hearing? Like when you hear something specific, your brain also processes a specific memory that goes with that sound.

My thoughts are all scrambled up. Maybe because I have a lot of things to do and I just want to escape them. Or maybe because I have to experience everything, including all the hurt and tough times just to add something to my "did this, done that" list. Maybe because I'm lazy to go to work later. Or maybe bacause some plans I had did not push through and some things are happening that were not in my plans. I don't know.

There are things happening in my life right that I would never want to forget. I hope I don't reach the day that I will lose them, voluntarily or not. Some good things never last but thank God for memories.

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