Independence

I've always wanted this. I want to do all the things I want without anyone or anything preventing me. As a 22-year old STILL dependent on my parents, I found life tough, especially when I want to do things that they don't approve of.

Yes, I miss student life. I miss being totally dependent. Like when I make a mistake and people blame my parents for it. Instances when I just have to ask money from my parents before going to school and anywhere I'm supposed to go. But then it feels weird when I'm taking more responsibilities (especially financially speaking), but then I am still under their scrutiny. That means, I still have to tell them where I'm going, what time I'm coming home, who I'm with, what I'm doing, etc. Like when I wanted to start my own business. I decided that for myself because I have a dream. All I'm asking is just a bit of understanding and support from them. Isn't it ironic that they ARE the reasons why I'm getting into the business, but then they don't even care?

That's why I've been wanting to have a place and a life of my own. I am not isolating myself from my family. They're the reasons why I want to achieve something. But how can I achieve anything when I feel like I am bound by chains? It's nice to know that I will always have a home to go to or a place to stay or people to love me whoever I may be. But then sometimes, being in a coccoon is suffocating. I need to get out of it and fly-- explore the world on my own.

It's not that I do not appreciate them. But sometimes I wonder if they do appreciate me. I just wanted to leave a MARK in the world and I can't do it with all the baggage I'm handling.

I know life is just about finding the right timing. Waiting for the right opportunity. Besides, "when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you achieve it."

I just hope this new year will somehow bring better tidings. *cross fingers*

"Is it enough to love?
Is it enough to breathe?
Somebody rip my heart out and leave me here to bleed.
Is it enough to die?
Somebody save my life.
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please..."
~Avril Lavigne, "Anything But Ordinary"